Just a quick update.

Jeff and Bradley are home. Blessing.

Jeff brought some funky thing back with him and is running a fever of 104. Not a blessing.

I am completely bogged down in a trial that I never should have accepted because when did I think I had time to do this? Not a blessing.

I only have 149 pages left to proof. Blessing.

The package we mailed to India finally arrived this week! Blessing.

The children's choir musical is on Friday. Mixed blessing.

Children's choir is about to be over for the summer. Blessing.

Dress rehearsal is tomorrow night. Not a blessing.

Bryant can dance. A blessing to share.

A Word from Brad

Dear Mommy,
We went to the Lincoln Memorial yesterday. We also went to the Washington monument, the World war 2 memorial, and the White House. We bought shirts for me, Bailey and Bryant. I got one that said, “I (picture of a heart) DC”. So did Bailey. Bryant got one that had a picture of DC. We rode a train to DC. Our hotel is in Virginia. We might come home tomorrow if it does not stop raining. Then we will have to miss 2 things. George Washington’s house (Mount Vernon) and the Arlington Cemetery. I have a surprise for everyone. We went to the space and rocket center. Me and daddy rode the simulator. Not the big ball, the red machine. We saw rockets, jets, and a the Space Shuttle. We took lots of pictures for you to see. We will send them to you.

Love, Bradley

A Word from Jeff

Jeff sent a few pictures from the trip to the Mall yesterday, which included the World War II Memorial, the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, the Vietnam Memorial, the Capital and the White House. It was a beautiful day filled with sunshine and even some surprises. One of the state Senators from Alabama, Jeff Sessions, was at the WWII Memorial yesterday to greet several veterans touring from north Alabama. They met one of his aides and he told them to go over and meet with the Senator. Granddaddy had the opportunity to talk with him for a little while and enjoyed it. He even received his business card and an offer to call him if he ever needed anything. What's funny about this is that Jeff Sessions is a Republican, and Granddaddy is a staunch Alabama Democrat. Perhaps this will finally put a chink in his armor? Probably not!

What a cool thing for the four of these guys to get to do together. I know none of them will ever forget it.

Hulon and the Senator.

The weather isn't as good for them today as the beautiful one they had yesterday. Since it's cold and rainy, today will be an inside day. I think the Smithsonian was on the list. I'm sure it will be great, whatever they do!

I love these guys.

Bailey and I went with the BBC Homeschool group to Huntsville yesterday to the Space and Rocket Center. It was so much fun! The day was absolutely gorgeous, and my dad went with us so we had our own personal tour guide for much of it since I learned yesterday that he actually worked on the engine for the first shuttle attempts when he worked for Pratt Whitney in West Palm Beach. How sad that I never knew this before. Who knows what else I don't know about my folks!

This lady showed us a couple of fun experiments involving Alka-Seltzer and pressure. The one she did with water, oil, food coloring and alka-seltzer was the best. She made a miniature lava lamp, and Bailey turned to me with amazement and said, "We gotta try that at home!"

We will definitely have to go back with Bradley, because he would have loved it so much. There was tons to see and do, and since he's so interested in space right now I know he would have eaten it up.

Other than the exhibits, there are a lot of great simulators. Some of them Bailey wasn't quite tall enough for, but it didn't seem to upset her too much. We did the Mars Mission simulator and she loved that. We ended the day with a movie in the IMAX theatre that was awesome. It would have been even more awesome if we hadn't been in the front row, but we didn't have much choice!

The two biggest attractions are the G-Force simulator, which I wasn't brave enough for, and the Space Shot, which I was! There was a kids area that had a mini-version of the Space Shot, and Bailey and her friends rode it over and over at least twenty times. She would have gone twenty more if we had let her. But there were important things like sno-cones waiting.

Here she is on the mini version...

And here is her crazy mama on the real thing!

Yes, we were as scared as we look. But it was exhilarating! If I hadn't had to wait in line I would have absolutely done it again. I was so proud that it didn't make me nauseous!

It was a lot of fun to get Bailey away and do something with just her. When Bradley's not around to dominate, she'll talk your ear off!

Okay, I can't resist. Hope all of your weekends are a BLAST! :)

Jeff and Bradley left yesterday morning to meet up with Jeff's dad and granddad in Knoxville headed to our Nation's capital. For Christmas this year, we registered his granddad, Hulon Ogle, with the World War II memorial. Jeff told him when we gave it to him that it included a trip to DC to see it for himself. So this is the weekend.

I know they are going to have such a great time. Hopefully Jeff will keep sending me pics for the blog. This one is from this morning. They are off to the Mall today. It's supposed to be a gorgeous day, and I'm praying it's just that.

Maybe I'll give Bradley access to the blog and let him keep us updated... that could be interesting!

GREAT NEWS!

I just found out that the money has been wired to India for Ramu! I am so excited to see what is going to happen next. Thank you so much to all of you who are involved in this, either financially or through prayer.

Our God is a Great Big God!! :)

You know those times when you absolutely can not laugh or else you will completely spoil the point you are trying to make with your children? I've never been so glad that it was dark as I was tonight in the car.

I've been trying for months, if not years, to get my kids to stop making potty jokes. There is nothing as funny to them as inserting the word "poop" or "fart" into any sentence. And I'm just sick of it. I've tried all kinds of different punishments, but so far nothing has worked.

So tonight B&B were just totally wild in the back seat. I had already threatened that if they didn't calm down they were going straight to bed when we got home. I think they thought I was bluffing. Even though they had a very hearty snack before we left at 5:15, they hadn't technically had dinner yet and were expecting this upon arrival.

So Bailey is doing something with her electronic diary, and Bradley says, "Change the password to 'poopy'"! Tee-hee, tee-hee. She readily agrees and yells "POOPY!" I snap. "You are both going straight to bed when we get home!"

"But MOM, we haven't had dinner yet!"

"Sorry. Should have thought about that when I warned you."

Tears. Weeping. Rending of clothes. Gnashing of teeth.

So now it's time for that teachable moment. "You know, the Bible says that you are not to let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth. That means you are only to use your mouth for encouraging others, learning and teaching and praising God." (I'm kindof learning this right now myself, actually.)

Bradley pipes up in his snubbiest voice, "Yes, ma'am... those are words to live by."

Thankfully I swallowed the laugh, but my face would have been a dead giveaway!

Some days are better than others...

Yesterday was a less than stellar day of parenting. I felt like the words that came out of my mouth were virtually all spoken out of impatience. Brad and Bailey lost many privileges, and none of us were exceptionally happy with the way things were going. Things between Bradley and I were the worst.

So after he left for Scouts, I left a note on his bed. I knew he would be getting home in the middle of my Bible study and would probably be asleep before I got upstairs. This is how it went...

When I came up to my room, this was beside my pillow...

Ah... grace. I love that kid. :)

Okay. The most incredible thing just happened and I am compelled to share.

If you've been keeping up with me lately, you know that God has dropped some pretty earth-shattering revelation on me over the past few weeks, much of it in the form of John Eldredge's new book, "Walking with God." If you haven't gotten the book yet, in a nutshell, he describes how you can walk with God on a daily basis, developing an intimacy with him by listening to His voice. This isn't natural to us, and it has required some serious divine intervention for me. Just slowing my brain down enough to hear has to come from Him. And He has been overly and abundantly gracious to do this very thing.

Last night as I was asking God what He wanted to say to me, I very clearly heard the word "vulnerable."

I said, "Vulnerable? What does that mean?"

He said, "Be vulnerable." That was what I got. I didn't understand at all what it meant, but I was completely ecstatic that He had indeed spoken.

I've pondered all day over what that might mean. Being vulnerable sounds a little bit scary to me, because doesn't that mean I'm open to being hurt? Haven't I cried enough lately? Am I supposed to be vulnerable to God? Vulnerable to Jeff? Vulnerable to strangers on the highway? What does that mean?

To be honest, I really wasn't expecting an answer to come right away. I'm assuming this is something God wants to reveal to me in His timing. But He led me to read about David tonight. (That's another totally cool thing about this - actually asking Him what He wants me to read before I open the Bible. What a concept! :)) So I just went to 1 Samuel where David's story begins. Very soon into it is probably his most famous accomplishment, the victory over Goliath.

As soon as I saw the title, I heard, "Be vulnerable for me." So I'm thinking David was certainly an example of being vulnerable for God, right? He put his life on the line in a very real way when he got ticked off over "this uncircumcised Philistine that should defy the armies of the living God."

As soon as he started asking around, Satan tried to attack him through his brother Eliab. "Why have you come down here? And with whom did you leave those few sheep in the desert? I know how conceited you are and how wicked your heart is; you came down only to watch the battle." Enter ridicule, provocation and distraction.

When he told Saul he wanted to go for it, you can hear the condescension pouring from his lips, "You are not able to go out against this Philistine and fight him; you are only a boy, and he has been a fighting man from his youth." Enter doubt.

But David was determined to do what he felt the Lord leading him to do. And every five-year-old in Sunday school knows how that turned out.

At this point I'm hearing God tell me to be vulnerable for Him. Whether I'm perceived as a complete weirdo or not doesn't really matter any more. I'm hearing from Him, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

So back to the cool thing that happened. Before I opened the Bible and started reading, I felt led to pray for Ramu. Some of you may have been wondering what has been going on with him. Well, from our end, not much. The money is sitting in the church account ready to go, but there is a hold-up on determining exactly the best way to get it to him. So I'm waiting. This is not my strong point. But I'm trying to just sit back and let things happen.

However, over the past few days, I've allowed some doubt to creep in. Even though I had two or three different confirmations that we were indeed supposed to be doing this for Ramu, that was a few weeks ago and my attention span is sometimes short-lived.

So I began to pray for Ramu. I asked God, "Did we do the right thing? Were we supposed to raise that money? Is this in Your will?"

I immediately heard, "Yes, child." So tender.

"Are you sure, God? Am I hearing you right? Are you in this?" I could almost hear Him laugh as He said, "YES!" Okay. Thank you. I just needed to hear that. I can wait again.

So then I opened my Bible and read and saw the story of David and Goliath and I'm just really feeling so encouraged. Thank you, Lord, for revealing a glimpse of Yourself to me tonight. All I want is to know You more.

I opened up my e-mail to check it before closing down my computer. There in my inbox is a precious note from one of my dearest college friends. This is what it said...

Hi Leigh Ann,

After reading your blog a few weeks ago, I was so saddened by the story of the little blind boy who could possibly regain his sight through surgery, and I really felt the Lord leading us to help out in some way.

Richard and I would like to give some money toward that, but I'm not sure exactly how to do that, or even if that need has been met already. If there is still a need for money for his surgery, to whom should I make the check payable, and where do I send it?

Love,
Amy

Now, you may think that is coincidence, but I know better. God is listening. It's time for us to listen back. We will be astounded at how much He wants to tell us!

I just deactivated my Facebook account. I hope no one is offended. It was driving me insane. I figure if seeing the word "Facebook" in my inbox causes me to break out in hives, it might be a good sign that it is not for me.

Hopefully this doesn't make me socially irrelevant. If anyone needs me to confirm that we are indeed friends, just ask. I'm happy to do it over coffee.

It occurred to me tonight as I was sitting and laughing with the girls in my Bible study that I feel different today. I have actually experienced joy today, more than once. What is so awesome about this is that I've been praying for God to restore my joy, and I know some of you have been praying that over me as well. Isn't it spectacular when God answers a prayer, and you know it could have only come from Him?

For a lot of reasons, joy has escaped me since I've been home from India. There have been moments where I would start to experience it, and then it was like Satan came out of nowhere and just snatched it right back. It's truly the closest I've ever felt to depression, and it's not fun.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about the feelings of guilt I've had over joy. It's as if it wasn't right for me to be joyful after everything I saw and experienced in India, even though a lot of what I saw is amazing and beautiful and there is much to be joyful about in that wonderful place. But it's like I've put this burden on myself that until I figure out exactly everything God wants to teach me right now, I'm not allowed to have joy. And I know that's the last thing He would want.

If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. (John 15:10-11)

I just want to praise Him for hearing my prayer and answering. I feel like each day brings me closer to victory. I know that the journey before me is long, but it feels so good to know I'm not walking it alone.

Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good. His love endures forever!

This book is changing my life. It is changing how I pray, how I see God and how I get through the day. It is honestly that good.

Try it. You won't be disappointed.

Why We Went Camping...

After dinner tonight we swung by Wal-Mart to buy some things for our family campout tomorrow night. Yes, we are completely nuts for going when it's done nothing but rain for the last 48 hours, but parents will do many things for the love of their child. Since we got rained out on Bradley's actual birthday, we're going to try not to have to postpone it again. On the bright side, I don't imagine the campground will be too crowded.

Anyway, as Brad and Bailey and I were walking around waiting on Jeff to finish checking out, a cheerful employee stepped out and asked if she could help me find anything. I answered, "No thanks. We're just wandering."

She looked at me with a smile and said, "Well, you know, Tolkien (which she pronounced Toll-kee-in) said, 'Not all those who wander are lost.'"

How about that? Philosophy and groceries. This angelic lady had no idea what comfort she gave me tonight.

I smiled all the way home.

My dear sweet friends,

Thank you so much for your comments and e-mails and prayers. You have been such an encouragement to me over the past couple of days.

One of the things that I grieved the most over leaving India was how strongly I could feel the prayers of our intercessors. I can't even explain it accurately, but I just knew that we were being covered by people all over the world. Partly because you told us you were doing so, but it was this overwhelming sense of peace. I never felt like we were truly in danger, even when I was cringing and clutching the arms of whichever unlucky soul happened to be sitting next to me on our van rides of terror. I believed whole-heartedly that God had us under His wings and was keeping us safe.

You've made me feel like I am being prayed for again, and I can't tell you what a welcome comfort that has been, like a favorite old sweatshirt. I truly feel so blessed that I don't even know how to respond.

God is teaching me how important it is to pray continually. He really means it when He tells us to pray without ceasing. I think we go through periods of crisis where we do this out of desperation. But when things are good for the most part, we forget how important it is to constantly keep that line open. I sincerely hope that when this season of my life is over, I will not go back to taking that access to the Father for granted.

One of the things that I'm trying to implement is praying immediately for someone when they ask me to. Not just saying, "I'll be praying for you," because quite honestly how often have I said that and not really given the matter another thought. Not because I mean to, but just because of the busyness of life. I'm so tired of being so self-absorbed that I'm of no real use to anyone else. I never want to be that person again. With God's help, I won't be.

I've just completed my ten-week study on the tabernacle by Beth Moore. On the last day of that study she discusses the difference between casually following Christ and pursuing a daily fellowship with Him. She asks, "Can you live with the mediocrity of life in the outer court when you have been invited to dwell in the excellence of the innermost place? If you dare enter, you will never be the same."

My most sincere prayer is that I will never again find myself stuck in the outer court. I'm learning that to be with Christ in the Holy of Holies is not an easy thing, however. There are things that He requires, among them the pursuit of holiness. It's a daunting task, but He also promises to give us what we need to make it happen. All you have to do is ask.

Are you willing?

If there's one lesson that God has taught me over the past month, it's be careful what you pray for. If you pray and sincerely ask God to change you and bring you into a closer intimacy with Him no matter what it takes, be prepared for Him to do it. And chances are that it is not going to be all that pleasant.

Those who know me well will tell you that I'm not the same person I was a few weeks ago. My journey to India was only the beginning. The changes that began in me there have done nothing but harbor more since I've been home. Things that used to be so important to me are just gone. As hard as I've tried to pay attention to what's going on in politics (which I admit isn't really all that hard at all) I just can't make myself care. The whole thing seems utterly pointless. Rationally, I know that who becomes President next year does matter, but emotionally I just can't get there. Perhaps if there was a greater difference between the three potentials I might be more into it. But it just seems a little pathetic to me right now.

For the past year, I've prayed that God would burn things off of me that were dead and keeping me from going to the next level with Him. Apparently, He took me seriously. Some of what He is teaching me is just too personal and painful to blog about. But some things are about materialism and greed and our tendency to horde stuff. My family spent this past weekend cleaning out our bonus room and just purging it of all the things that never get used or played with. Yesterday, the kids and I took a huge load to Safe Haven, a family shelter in downtown Nashville. As we were driving through the neighborhood, I turned everything off and had the kids just look around. I want them to understand that the way they live is just not the way it is for the majority of people in this world, including people very near where they live. I'm not sure what else we're going to do to try to change their worldview, but I'm determined to try.

I will say this, though. I've never been more convinced that my God is real. If He wasn't, then there would be no Satan. And I assure you that we have an Enemy, and he crawls around like a devouring lion seeking the perfect time of attack. He is doing his best to knock me down right now, and my only strength comes from the Word of God and the knowledge that he has already been defeated.

I'm learning what it means to rejoice in your suffering. That never really made sense to me before. But when you know that your trials are a result of God pruning you and disciplining you, there is so much hope there. I believe that He wouldn't be allowing any of this if He didn't fully intend it for my eventual good. There really is comfort in that. He started this work in me, and He will be faithful to complete it. I know that He is answering my prayer to bring me closer to Him, and that He wouldn't do that if He didn't love me. I discipline my kids to make them better people. He is doing the same.

So you'll have to forgive me if you don't recognize me right now. I don't really even recognize myself at this point. I don't even want ice cream anymore. What is that about? That doesn't seem necessary. :)

Perhaps once all of this gets sorted out the old LA and the new LA will merge together into someone we can recognize and love. Until then, I hope you can be patient with me and love me anyway.