I was not expecting to be depressed.

All week I've had this nagging sadness that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I don't want to do anything. Whenever things get quiet, I just want to lay down and go to sleep. Yes, it could be jet lag, but it feels like more than that. I miss being in Thailand.

This morning I went to church. I couldn't wait to get there and worship with my fellow believers. After spending an entire week preparing for and leading in some of the most amazing worship services I've ever been a part of, to have that abruptly cut off has left an emptiness that is hard to explain. Mission trips are obviously spiritual highs, so I guess this is what it feels like to fall off the mountain.

I know I'm not the only one. This morning whenever I would run into someone that was with me in Thailand, we would look at one another with this hunger in our eyes, so happy to see each other, and wondering, "Do you feel it, too?" One friend approached me after we had sung in choir with tears in her eyes, trying to put words to this lonely feeling. We miss each other. We miss Thailand.

Yes, it's good to be home. I love having my kids back. But I would get on a plane tomorrow, even a United plane.

I was not expecting to be depressed.