If this is not the face of an angel...

Then surely this is...

I did not watch the State of the Union address. It's not because I'm on a TV fast. I just had something else to do last night. But even if I hadn't, I most likely wouldn't have watched. I really don't see the point. The entire thing is just a bunch of pomp and circumstance.

Don't get me wrong, I still have a great deal of respect for G.W. I think that no matter what his failures, he was the right man for the job at the right time. I shudder to think where we'd be had Al Gore been at the wheel these past six years.

I hear that he actually did a pretty good job last night. Much to the surprise of most media pundits, the immediate poll numbers for the speech were somewhat favorable. Of course they were then quick to point out that it's mostly Republicans watching the speech, so you really can't go by those polls. Which begs the question, why do them then? You people are so ridiculous.

Anyway, what makes me not want to watch the speech is 1) I already know everything he is going to say by the time he gets to the speech because it's all been leaked to the media and they've been dishing over it all day, and 2) I can read it online in about 1/10 of the time it takes to watch due to all the gratuitous applause and ovations.

When exactly did the State of the Union turn into this ridiculously childish display of schoolyard politics? I can't answer this, because it's been going on as long as I've been watching. I must admit that I never watched it when Clinton was President because for most of his presidency I was in college and a newlywed and just wasn't paying all that much attention. But I also couldn't stand to look at him, so it would have pained me to have to listen to him fawn all over himself and the great job he'd been doing the past year for an hour. (Which I realize is precisely the way most liberals feel about Bush and why they weren't watching last night either.)

But can we address the whole "we don't like you so we're just going to stay seated, na, na, na, nee, boo boo" mentality? This looks SO RIDICULOUS! Would you PLEASE grow up!? I mean, truly, you look like a bunch of big babies. When did this first get started? Whose idea was it that this would be a really meaningful and powerful display against the President? It is so juvenile.

And while we're at it, do the Republicans really have to stand up and applaud every other sentence fragment? That is almost just as annoying. Let's applaud the President out of respect when he gets up to the mic. Then let's make a rule that you only get to stand up and clap at three predetermined intervals. They should all get a marked-up copy of the speech on arrival that has the appropriate clapping times highlighted. Would that really be so much less contrived than what goes on now? At least maybe we could shave a little bit of time and save the President from those awkward moments where he thinks people are going to clap and they don't so there's just a slightly too long pause, which then throws off his concentration and makes him get that scared look which we wish was endearing but somehow just isn't.

Perhaps it's time to go back to radio. Maybe if our esteemed members of Congress weren't so preoccupied with how they look on TV they might actually pay attention to the speech instead of just watching Pelosi for cues on which posture to take and making sure they are sitting with their best side to the camera.

There are times that it really scares me how much power these people have. If they would start to act like grown-ups instead of whiny, selfish pre-pubescents, things might actually get accomplished to help make this incredible country of ours even better.

Good job, George. You've still got supporters out here, no matter how lonely it must feel from where you stand. You're coming up on the home stretch. Please finish strong.

Okay, this is an open letter of apology to my friends.

Forgive me for EVER having worried that you would support me in my break from TV. I have been so blessed by talking to several of you over the past couple of days, and now know that it would have been much simpler if I'd just done this in the beginning instead of needlessly worrying about how it would make you feel. I did not give any of you the credit you deserve and I have learned my lesson. God has blessed my life with you, dear friends. I am so inspired by you.

As Darlene and I were discussing tonight, we're trying so hard to teach our kids first-time obedience. I think this may be what my Father is trying to teach me. That, and to believe Him and not the deceiver.

I love you guys. Thanks for being a part of my life.

So long, Jack

I'm turning off the TV for a while. I'm not sure for how long, and quite honestly I'm hoping to be back before the end of the season.

Why am I doing this? I can only tell you that I'm feeling convicted that this is what I need to do. I have actually felt this for several months and chosen to interpret God's calling in ways that still let me watch my shows. I'm feeling like I can't do that anymore.

I am scared to do this. I'm scared that my friends are going to think I'm a weirdo. I'm afraid of not having any input when the girls get together and start talking TV. I'm afraid of making them feel awkward around me, or feel like I'm judging them for watching the shows that I really want to be watching.

Friends, please believe me that this is not the case. I see this as a very personal conviction and I don't in any way think that this is something God is calling everyone to do. I don't think that it is a sin to watch 24. But for me, I feel like at times I've become more passionate about what Jack Bauer is doing to save the world than what Christ has already done. I just need to reshift my focus for a little while.

I hope it doesn't sound like I see this as any great sacrifice for the faith, nor do I consider myself a TV martyr. There are so many people around the world making real, true sacrifices for Jesus, that to suggest this compares to anything important is ridiculous. Right now I just feel like God has something he wants to teach me, and I'm more afraid of missing whatever that is than I am of missing Prison Break.

Do I want to know what's happening on my shows? Yes. So I will still enjoy hearing my friends discuss it. Please don't feel weird around me. What has kept me from being obedient up until now is the fear of what you will think. Satan is a deceiver and he has used this lie to keep me from doing what God is telling me for far too long. In my heart I know that we are bound to each other in friendship by the blood of Christ and not the epic saga of Jack, Kate and Sawyer.

But I will miss them. :)

Who says computer geeks can't be gorgeous?

What, exactly, does Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., have to do with the war in Iraq? I have just watched exerpts of a speech given by Dr. Otis Moss at the Ebenezer Baptist Church today in celebration of Martin Luther King. I'm totally disgusted.

Why do people get to hijack the memory of a man who has been dead for decades and attach whatever Bush-hating propaganda happens to be popular that day? Last year it was all about Katrina. Of course we all know that President Bush personally asked God to aim the hurricanes at New Orleans and be sure and wipe out as many black people as possible. That should just be obvious. So it's easy to see how MLK would have supported the idea. After all, he was black.

But today's argument was so moronic and nonsensical, I just hope that the Reverand wasn't listening. Dr. Moss actually said that we should bring our boys home from Iraq and get to work on universal healthcare. I just don't even know where to begin with this. Do these people pay ANY attention to what's happening in the world? It's unfathomable that they do.

Why not take today to celebrate the fact that Dr. King led the way to racial equality in our country, theoretical as it may be. The fact that I have to explain to my almost 8-year-old that in the past white people and black people didn't get along too well should be a testament to how far we've come. Unless someone had told him that he wouldn't have been able to be friends with his black companions long ago, this thought wouldn't have crossed his mind.

Why not honor his memory instead of degrading it with sheer liberal craziness? Can we assume that Dr. King would have hated George Bush? I think absolutely not. They shared a common faith, in God, life and liberty. I wholeheartedly disagree that because he was a black leader he would be in support of the modern day liberal agenda. I'm certain that MLK would have wanted to smack Jesse Jackson around just as much as I do for continuing to fuel the fires of racism rather than working to eradicate them. The Al Sharptons and Jesse Jacksons of the country do so much harm when they show up with their rent-a-mobs every time they think there's a news story where they can play the race card. If they would just shut up, maybe some real progress could be made. Wishful thinking, I know. But after all, I can have a dream too.

My baby started walking this weekend. We got down the push toy from the attic and put it in his playroom. Brad picked him up and put his hands on the handle bar and he was off! This is all he wants to do now, just walk back and forth across the room. When he runs into an obstacle he yells and shakes it until he can manage to turn a little bit or gets some help from his brother and sister. It's just so cute.

This morning he let go of my hands and reached for Jeff, and in the process took about one and a half steps all by himself. It won't be long now. I can't believe how fast he's growing up.

The puzzle is complete. Life has resumed. Man, I have a lot of laundry to do.

I'm completely paralyzed from all activity right now until I finish a jigsaw puzzle that is consuming the better part of my dining room table. I always do this when I have a puzzle, which is why I almost never do them. But I saw this really cool "Lost" jigsaw puzzle over Christmas when Bailey was picking out a new puzzle, and thought it would be fun. Oh. My. Gosh. This thing is so hard and it has taken an inordinate amount of my time since I started last Friday. It's truly absurd. Fun, but absurd.

Bryant got tubes this morning. They told us to be there at 8, but when we got there we found out the surgery wasn't until 9. That seems reasonable for a 9-month-old who isn't allowed to eat or drink until after the procedure. He did AMAZINGLY well, considering not getting to eat and being totally ready for a nap by the time they got to him. He woke up extremely agitated, though, and was pretty much inconsolable until I got him home and in his own bed. He slept for a couple of hours, and seems to be doing well now. I gave him a bottle a few minutes ago and I'm waiting to see if he gets nauseous before giving him any solids. Considering he's found the bottle and is sucking air, I think he's hungry, so I better get to that.

All I have to say about the President's speech is can anyone possibly imagine Bill Clinton making that speech? Just hearing him accept total blame for the failures over there, whether that's a true representation or not, makes me remember why I voted for him. He knows what it means to be a leader. Bill never accepted responsibility for anything, which is just one of the reasons why I think he was a lousy president. But considering that it would take me a while to follow that rabbit and the fact that Bryant looks like he's trying to eat the carpet, I guess I'll save it for another day.

We took down our Christmas decorations this weekend. I'm amazed at how I have the exact same thought progression each and every year. As soon as November arrives, I start getting psyched up to get everything down out of the attic and I just can't wait to have all of the decorations in place. We usually start decorating the inside of the house the weekend before Thanksgiving and continue throughout the week, finishing up the weekend of Thanksgiving putting up the outdoor lights.

Every year when I get finished, I think to myself, "I love this so much. I'm never going to want to take them down." And I think that all the way up through Christmas.

Once Christmas is over, for whatever weird reason, I can't wait to get them down. I never take them down until after New Year's, but once January 1 gets here, it's a literal obsession to get everything away and back up in the attic. I really can't figure this out.

As I was coming home tonight, I noticed that virtually everyone in the neighborhood that was holding out until this weekend to take down their lights has done so. But there's this one house down the street that still has them up. I can understand that. Perhaps they've been out of town or had to work on the weekends or whatever. I realize ladders are involved and it's kind of a big deal to take them down. But do you have to turn them on? It just looks really weird. Move on already. Christmas was two weeks ago.

And then I think, why do I care if somebody still has their lights on? If they still want their house decked out until Martin Luther King's birthday, what business is it of mine? What does this really have to do with Christmas anyway? Could I possibly ramble any more in this post?

Tonight I discovered that Starbucks has a coffee and cream liqueur and that Macaroni Grille has a delightful little drink where they mix it with amaretto. It's really quite yummy. Clearly I shouldn't have consumed the whole thing.

Happy Birthday, Debo. :)

Earlier today I came up with a list of liberal talking points in response to a comment on a previous post. Since then, I've been thinking of what might be the list of conservative talking points. Perhaps something like this, just to name a few:

#1 - Liberals hate America.
#2 - Liberals are stupid.
#3 - Liberals are touchy-feely.
#4 - Liberals are gay.
#5 - Liberals want to be defeated in Iraq.
#6 - Liberals want to dissolve the United States military all together.
#7 - Liberals want to remove any notion of God from our society.
#8 - Liberals want to completely redistribute the wealth of our nation so that we are all monetarily equal (and poor.)
#9 - Liberals are, if not communists, at least socialists.

In doing this, I realize that as much as I hate being put into a conservative box and know that it's neither fair nor accurate, it is equally wrong to do the same to my political opposition. In truth, I think that what drives MOST people of liberal tendencies is that they genuinely want the world to be a better place, so they act out of what feels good and helpful versus what makes good common sense. This is primarily because true liberalism fails to take into account human nature and the nature of evil in the world. Those who want to acheive world peace by reasoning with terrorists have no concept of their all-consuming hatred for us that will not change no matter what we might say or acquiesce to them. In wanting to help the poor and underpriveleged by giving them more and more entitlement programs, there is no understanding of how that keeps them enslaved to their own lack of productivity.

A few years ago, I think I was mostly identified by my political persuasions. I don't want this to be the case anymore. I don't want people to think of me first as a Republican or a conservative, although if I have to check a box that is the political party that I most identify with, assuredly. Rather, I want to be identified first and foremost as a child of God, someone whose first desire is to share the love of Jesus with those that I come in contact with. I'm asking those of you who are my friends to hold me accountable to this.

Especially as Decision 2008 heats up.

UPDATE: Please click the link to Jane Anne's blog for an insightful look at this topic. Well put, my friend!

Okay, for those of you that watched the Outback Bowl from home and wondered what the heck happened, here's a tiny bit of insight from an attendee...

The thing that didn't come through on television was that Penn State had this game won from before the coin toss. When we arrived, Jeff, his sister and brother-in-law and I all found our seats in the upper deck. They were GREAT seats, even though they were high, and we were surrounded by fans from both teams. We were all set for a fun game.

Suddenly, the atmosphere in the stadium began to get really tense as the Penn State fans started shouting, "WE ARE," answered by "PENN STATE," over and over and over and over again. I must tell you that it was intimidating. Truly.

What was the most frustrating was that Tennessee had nothing to come back at them with. A few people tried, but it was mostly lame things like answering their "We Are" with "Yankees," or "drunk," or other various cusswords. Totally uninspring.

This one jerk stood up behind us and started yelling, "WE CAN. SPELL. WE CAN. ADD. WE CAN MULTIPLY." And as much as it pissed everybody off, (Even I thought about spelling some choice words for the guy) we had nothing to come back at them with that would really make a difference.

Every single offensive play of a Tennessee drive was drowned out by crowd yells that are usually reserved for punts and kick-offs. It was unbelievable. I felt so sorry for our guys on the field, because they were frantically raising their arms trying to get some inspiration from their fans. I fear that we failed them miserably.

So do I think that the fans were the only reason we lost? No. Our guys were playing as if it was the first game of the season. But honestly the play was pretty unimpressive on both sides of the field. It just wasn't a very good game.

But sadly, I do feel that the lack of unified support from the stands was definitely a contributing factor to the boys in orange not being able to get any confidence going. It felt like they never got over their nervousness, and I think that a large part of that unsettled feeling came from the overwhelming noise coming out of the Penn State folks.

So I know that those of you watching on TV were wondering why Tennessee performed so miserably after a pretty great season. I think this has a lot to do with it. Hopefully somebody can come up with a way to get the Volunteers unified so that this doesn't happen to us again. It was NO fun losing to those guys. They were so arrogant and cocky that it felt like losing to the Gators. But at least when that happens it's all in the family.

Now I know why my dad and Jeff's dad have always hated Penn State. Here's to next year.

Today I was all set to blog about the Outback Bowl. I have much to say about it since I have a perspective of having been there that I think is different from the one that came through on TV. (For those of you who don't know, that's the bowl where Tennessee lost to Penn State 20 - 10.) I still have plans to blog about this, because I know there are at least two of you who will care, but it's going to have to wait. I had an experience this morning that I feel I must share.

My parents got me a new Bible for Christmas. It was something I had asked them for, because I've been using Jeff's NIV study Bible for the last several months and had decided that I liked it better than mine. When my dad gave it to me, he told me that he had learned from a man that used to sell Bibles that the first thing you need to do when you get a new Bible is go through and flip a few pages and crease it down the middle, then skip a few more pages and crease, and so on until you've done it to the whole book. This is supposed to help prevent cracking of the spine or something like that.

I hadn't done it yet, so this morning before I opened up my Bible study book I decided to go through and crease. What happened then has stayed with me all day. As I flipped through the pages, going from Genesis to Revelation, I got this amazing picture of the word of God. Glancing at the headings, I saw so many of the familiar stories that I've known since childhood, mixed in with the law that was so important to the Israelites during their stay in the desert. I read David's amazing psalm of praise in 1 Chronicles and just had a moment with God there.

I flipped through the prophets and realized that so much of what they were talking about is incredibly relevant now. I've always just sort of skipped over those books, but as I was flipping through Ezekiel I was reminded of the prophecies dealing with Russia and Iran and Israel, which led me to a different kind of praying.

Then I got to Jesus, his birth, life, death and amazing love for me. I had to give thanks for this most amazing gift that has defined my life. For whether I am acting from my spirit or my flesh at whatever particular moment, I know that I am sealed by that grace and love. And it makes me want to share that love and grow to know Him more and more.

After that comes Peter and Paul and the works of the early Saints. How amazing that a church that began with just a handful of men and women spread all the way to Rome in just a matter of decades. And just glancing at the headings makes it obvious that the issues the earliest Christians dealt with haven't changed all that much today.

And finally I got to Revelation, and the promises that what we see here isn't all there is. I know that one day Jesus is coming back and it will be a glorious day. Hallelujia!

Anyway, I'm sharing this because what started out as an exercise in preservation of a physical book turned into a precious act of worship. I think it would be a cool thing for anyone to do, whether they have a new Bible or not. You may experience the same thing.

Can I just say that I love my God? Happy New Year, friends.

On Tuesday night we did our annual Christmas with the Abbotts. Except this year instead of having a nice dinner and leisurely enjoying each other's company for the night, we were able to squeeze it in between 7:30 and 9:00 on a school night. Life has changed. We all acknowledge that we are far too busy to enjoy the season, but who is able to actually do anything about it? But I digress...

So this year instead of toys, I found these great purple bath towels and had the girls' names embroidered on in lime green in this really cool font to match their bathroom. This seemed like a great idea at the time of purchase. See, there is a store that I love down here called Polka Dots where I buy lots of gifts for myself and others. Unfortunately, the owner told me that she may have to close unless she has a really good Christmas. So I was trying to do my part by buying as many gifts there as I could. Hence the monogrammed bath towels.

Now Darlene has done an incredible job of teaching her girls how to react when they open a present that may not completely thrill their soul. McKenzie will always act like it's the best thing she's ever opened and will try to come up with something special to say about it. So when they opened their towels, it was pretty hard for me to tell what she really thought. Sweet Riley Grace, on the other hand, just sat there looking at it with an almost puzzled look on her face. It was at this moment that it occurred to me that 8 and 5 year old girls don't really get excited about bath towels for Christmas.

Meanwhile, my son opens up his super cool exo-force lego robot and grabs McKenzie to run off to his room and start putting it together. Bailey opens up her Polly Pockets Limosene, and because I have done such a fine job of raising her, says (with a slight tone of disgust) "I already have this one."

Because I'm embarassed by her reaction, I lean down and do the Mommy whisper, "That is not what you say when someone gives you a gift. Do you understand me?! You say, 'Thank you very much,' no matter whether you have it already or not."

So Bailey starts crying because she's embarassed that I got on to her. So I say, "You know what, Bailey? If you already have this one, it's no big deal to take it back and swap it."

Moment of truth for Riley Grace: "Sure, Bailey, you can swap it with me!"

You have to love the honesty of kids. Merry Christmas to you and yours. :)

I apologize for the long blogging hiatus. I realize that this has been hard for those millions of you who can't get through your day without checking in to see if I've had any words of wisdom, so I'll try not to be gone so long again. Thanks for your patience.

Last week was a week from hell. Every day, either I or one or more of my children were at the doctor for one ailment or another. Bryant had 3 shots, Bradley had spacers put in and I had a CT Scan. Those are the highlights.

As for my ringing ear, since my CT scan showed crystal clear sinus cavaties, the ENT is now going to test me for a couple of inner ear issues, one of them being Meniere's Disease. He reduced me to 2000 mg of sodium per day and told me to cut out caffeine and stress. I'm working on the caffeine.

So, what to blog about on my first day back? How about this:

What does a picture of Dennis Haysbert have to do with Senator Barack Obama, Democrat, Illinois? I think a lot. Because Dennis Haysbert is best known for his role on the hit show 24 as first Senator and then President David Palmer.

Now, I know that the ABC show Commander in Chief, starring Geena Davis, was a trial balloon to see how the country would react to a woman president, clearly in hopes of preparing us for a President Hillary Clinton. Well, for whatever reason, the show bombed. And things aren't looking too bright for Senator Clinton's presidential aspirations either.

However, the new rising star of the Democrat party is this man, Senator Barack Hussein Obama. He is extremely well-spoken, obviously intelligent, and just seemingly a pleasant guy to be around. Democrats are swooning over his potential, and I've heard more than one Republican show some interest in him as well.

My theory is that 24 did for the country unintentionally what Commander in Chief attempted but failed to do, get us ready for the first non-white male president. Look at the similarities: both are attractive, charismatic African-American family men with two kids, both senators (and senators normally do not become president - the last one was JFK in 1960. And for another wild hare - if TV were real, that would be quite the cooincidence seeing as how they were both assassinated by a sniper. But we all know TV isn't real, even if sometimes our friends have to remind us.)

Where was I? Oh, both democrats, both articulate and comfortable in their own skin. Interestingly, David Palmer was strong on terrorism, something democrats aren't real well known for. So will this be a subliminal message to the country that Obama would be hard on terrorists too?

What makes it even more interesting to me is that 24 is a show loved by conservatives. I'm sure that the hard line against terrorism isn't all that appealing to a liberal democrat. So if Obama does get the Democratic nod, it will be really interesting to see how many Republicans jump on the bandwagon.

Sadly, I feel that Mr. Obama is just another liberal. Consider the statement he made last week when he was asked if he thought some people wouldn't vote for him because of his race. His answer was yes, he thought that there surely were people who wouldn't vote for him because of his race. But then he added that those are probably the same people who wouldn't vote for him because of his politics. Translation: Republicans are racist, Liberal talking point #13.

Be prepared, because once Christmas is over, the 2008 race to the presidency will be underway. It's going to get ugly out there. While my stomach doesn't lurch and convulse at the thought of President Obama quite as much as it does at the sound of having to say President Clinton again (or would it be President Rodham?) I still shudder to think about the course of our country under a liberal commander in chief. Mr. Obama would be a formidable opponent for any candidate.

Let's pray that a strong conservative steps up to the plate. Soon.

Have we mentioned that this is our accident-waiting-to-happen child?

Apparently these things don't just happen to the First Lady.

For the past couple of days, I've spent a lot of time thinking about what's going on right now in our country and the world. I'm so disturbed by this ridiculous Iraq Study Group report and the ever-increasing consensus among Americans that defeat in Iraq is inevitable and our only hope is to try and cut our losses and get out of there as soon as we can. I'm amazed that so many people in this country don't seem to understand what's going on. I can actually understand why average Americans, going about their daily business, not really paying attention to the news, wouldn't want to go to war with Iran. I get that. But people in Washington who are in a position to make decisions that affect the course of our nation's future - what is going on up there? My mind is literally blown, and yet numb at the same time.

The only conclusion that I can reach is that we are a nation beset by spiritual blindness. The reason that we seem to be abandoning Israel is because it was foretold that we would do so. The Bible clearly predicts that she will be alone in the end. I've always found it so hard to imagine the US not sticking by her, but isn't that exactly what Mr. Baker is proposing in this report? What exactly is he expecting to accomplish by having Israel give up the Golan Heights? Are we honestly assigning blame to Israel over the situation in Iraq? Last I checked, they aren't involved. And how interesting that Mr. Baker doesn't want to invite Israel to the regional conference. That is scary, scary stuff.

As usual, Joel Rosenberg discussed this quite eloquently this morning, so I highly recommend clicking on the link to his blog and reading his observations.

What is the most disturbing to me of anything is that this "defeat" in Iraq was caused by Americans. We have defeated ourselves. If our national media hadn't done everything that it could to turn Americans against our efforts there, had reported all of the positive things such as schools, power lines, water and electricity reaching places it hadn't been for decades, if ever, the fact that Iraqi citizens don't want us to leave and are terrified of what will happen if we do, along with many other things they could have been reporting instead of the death count that they are always so eager to update, we would be in a completely different place right now. So many people in this country have seemingly forgotten what happened here on 9/11, not realizing that it is precisely our military efforts at home and abroad that have kept another attack from coming our way. So many politicians have used Iraq as an issue to be won rather than a very real war that we are engaged in. They should be held accountable for doing everything they can to divide this country rather than fight our real enemies.

On Tuesday, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad warned the West that any nation who tries in any way to stop Iran's pursuit of a nuclear program will be considered hostile, and that Iran would "reconsider its relations" with that country. Subtle threat? I think not.

If I sound hopeless, I'm sorry for the downer. It would definitely be easier not to pay attention to what is going on out there. But Ahmadinejad is gaining encouragement on a daily basis from the wacked out policy coming out of this nation and those of our allies. One exception is that of John Howard, Prime Minister of Australia. That guy is amazing. I wish he would remind GW and Tony Blair that it's okay to talk tough and be tough when dealing with your enemies. Any concession will be seen as weakness. Consider how the animal kingdom deals with weakness. Does a cheetah avoid the struggling gazelle because it feels sorry for it? Does it appreciate that the gazelle just wants to get along? Or does it go in for the ruthless kill?

Our radical Islamic enemies will only be satisfied when everyone on the face of the planet either converts to Islam or dies. They really don't have a preference. They are totally invested in our defeat. And sadly, it appears, so are we.

Is anybody else missing the tool bar that allows you to switch back and forth between HTML and regular and post pictures and stuff? Mine has disappeared into cyberspace for some bizarre reason.

The Kid Makes Me Laugh

Two Bradley quotes of the day:

Brad: Mom, I know I'm just a kid, but McKenzie and I have already decided that we're going to get married.
Me: You have?
Brad: Yeah. I asked her and she asked me.
Me: Well, what if when you get older you decide you want to marry somebody else?
Brad: No, she'd get mad. I've seen her mad, and it's not a pretty picture.


Brad: Mom, that street we were just on was called Blood Drive!
Me: Huh?
Brad: That street we were on - gross! It's called Blood Drive.
Me: What are you talking about?
Brad: Didn't you see that sign? It said, "Blood Drive, 5:00 - 9:00"

My ears are ringing. Not in a happy, Christmasy kind of way. More like a heart monitor that is flatlining.

As this has been going on for about 4 weeks straight, I'm starting to wonder what's wrong inside my head. A tumor, perhaps? Parkinson's Disease? Early onset Alzheimer's? Or perhaps just the fact that my son has found his squealing voice and uses it constantly. When he wants to make himself known, he lets out the most peircing screech and all the neighborhood dogs begin to bark uncontrollably.

I did go to the ENT. Fortunately for him, since he had no idea what was causing the ringing and pain, I had a sinus infection. So he slapped me with an antibiotic and said come back in six weeks. It's been nine days now. My sinus infection is gone, but my ears still hurt and every sound I hear is filtered through some kind of freaky electronic internal morse code. I read on the Internet that the great majority of people with tinnitus (the fancy word for ringing ears) are depressed. Go figure.

I'm going to call the ENT back today and play myself off as a crazed mom of 3 who is near the brink of insanity if they can't fix this @&$% RINGING IN MY EARS!!!!!

Shouldn't be too hard.

Over the past couple of days, there's been a lot of news about ex-KGB operative Colonel Alexander Litvinenko being assassinated in London. I think the reason for this is because it is kind of a titilating story about an ex-spy who defected and began openly criticizing the government of Russia, who winds up being radioactively poisoned, and all signs point back to the Kremlin. I fear, however, that most Americans, if they even notice the story at all, will see it simply as a kind of "Hunt for Red October" sequel instead of looking at the deeper ramifications behind it and how this could eventually affect those of us on this side of the Atlantic.

Joel Rosenberg saved me a lot of time this morning by posting this article on his blog, so please start there and come back.

Clearly Mr. Putin has an agenda. He wants to rebuild the Soviet Union, and he undoubtedly wants to be its czar once that's been accomplished. It seems that he is not going to stand for anyone trying to thwart those desires.

Consider another recent "unsolved" mystery. On October 7 of this year, a very famous investigative reporter named Anna Politkovskaya, a well-known critic of Putin, was gunned down in the elevator of her apartment building. It was reported as a contract killing, and no great mystery as to who was responsible. In fact, one of the things Litveninko was investigating before his poisoning was her death. As recently as last week, employees at the paper where Politkovskaya worked were receiving death threats, apparently connected to an investigation into her death, as well as some other things unfavorable to the Russian government.

Putin obviously doesn't like to be criticized, and neither does he like the supremacy of his country to be challenged in any way. Tensions between Russia and Georgia have been increasing dramatically, over the past several months. Georgia used to be part of the Soviet Union, and they are now an ally of the United States. A fledgling democracy that is trying to join NATO and maybe even eventually become part of the European Union, they are attempting to sever all political ties with their former motherland. Geographically, Putin would love to reclaim the territory of Georgia and its rich oil deposits around the Caspian Sea. He recently cut off all land, air, sea and postal links between the two countries, and there is a growing concern that military conflict is not far away. Just this morning, President Bush urged a peaceful resolution to this conflict, and encouraged those nations such as Georgia and the Ukraine to continue to pursue democracy and their efforts towards freedom.

Amid all of this, we continue to see reports of Russia supporting Iran in their nuclear efforts, as well as contracting to sell them billions of dollars worth of weapons. Iran is our enemy. They have vowed to see Israel wiped off the map and the United States covered in the blood of Muslim wrath. These are not merely words. Ahmadinejad has every intention of seeing this come to pass. And it seems that Putin is willing to help him.

The scenario that I keep coming back to with Israel is the one that Joel Rosenberg posits in his book The Ezekial Option. In this book, Russia joins with Iran and several other nations in making a resolution to the United Nations that all nations be forced to hand over their nuclear technology, including Israel. If she won't comply, then military action will be taken against her. This is an extremely plausible scenario to me, because it is playing off the same things the US has taken a lead in against countries like Iraq and North Korea. If this happens, of course Israel wouldn't comply, which would make the other nations appear justified in beginning a war. The Bible predicts that Iran and Russia will join forces against Israel in the last days, and this is one way that I could so easily see it come to pass.

We need to be concerned with Putin's desires for the direction his country goes. What happens there will have a direct impact on the nations surrounding Russia, which will ultimately have an impact on us. My parents lived most of their lives during the Cold War. My children have lived theirs with Russia as a supposed ally. I fear that this is about to change.

In June 2001, President Bush met with President Putin at his ranch in Crawford, Texas. He told us that he looked the man in the eye and found him to be very straightforward and trustworthy. I'm not exactly sure what our President saw when he looked Mr. Putin in the eye. But I think he might want to look again.

Differences between boys and girls

Okay, this picture has nothing to do with the post. But I took it yesterday and it's cute, so there ya go.

Some anecdotal evidence of the peculiarities of boys vs. girls:

Bailey: On Wednesday, she had to go to the bathroom while we were at Publix. Not wanting to get Bryant out and leave the cart full of stuff unattended on the day before Thanksgiving (you never know) I let her go in the family bathroom by herself and just stood by the door. After taking care of her business, she promptly washed her hands and threw her towel away. I said, "Let's go." She said, "One more thing," and walked over to the full length mirror and started fluffing up her hair. She said, "Mom, I have to curl my hair first." This is something I've never experienced with my son, so it made me smile. I'm sure it's going to drive me crazy in the years to come, though!

Bradley: This morning I went to wake him up, which is never an easy thing to do. I was talking to him while I was pulling his clothes out of the drawer. Next thing I know, he mumbles, "Fire in the hole..." followed by a sound that would make any man proud. I'm still laughing at this one!

As tomorrow will be a busy day with traveling, visiting with family and, um, eating, it seems that today would be a good time to talk about Thanksgiving.

As always happens when I start to think about what I have to be thankful for, I am overwhelmed with the blessings God has placed in my life. In fact, when I think about where I pictured myself at 33, this is pretty much it. I have an amazing and adoring husband, three beautiful and mostly delightful children, a house in a neighborhood reminiscent of Mayberry, wonderful, tried and true friends, a job that I love and a church that I feel blessed to be a part of. (I think I used to want four kids, but that was before I had any...) I know so many people who are not in the place that they pictured themselves, so I often ask God why my life turned out this way. I'm usually an optimistic person, but there's this little part of me way in the back that wonders when the other shoe is going to fall. I read about people going through the valley of the shadow of death, both literally and figuratively, and I think "That's never happened to me. Will I prove faithful when and if it does?"

I'm currently immersed in the Book of Genesis doing a study on the Patriarchs, and I am learning so much about the relational side of God, His role as a Father. How blessed we are to serve the God Who Sees, El Shaddai, Elohim, Adonai, Yahweh. As I considered this morning why He so often referred to Himself as the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, I think one reason was to remind His children of their rich heritage. He was saying, I was there for them, and I am here for you. They weren't perfect; neither are you. They weren't deserving of my love, and yet I loved them anyway. They were chosen; you are chosen. Learn from your heritage, live in the present, and pass on the truth to your descendants.

He is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He's also the God of Jeff, Leigh Ann, Bradley, Bailey and Bryant. Before that, He was the God of Don, Margaret, Karen and Bill (and now Cooper), Gene, Gale, Gena and Marc (and now Carrie Beth). Before that He was the God of John and Velma, Ray and Ruth, Hulon and Modena... the list could go on and on. How amazing to be able to claim the God of Abraham as my own. That is my heritage. That is what's real and eternal. And for that, I am truly thankful.

The innocence of youth. It's so fleeting. This is Bradley and his best friend McKenzie watching a movie together last night. These two have been friends, quite literally, since birth. As often happens when two moms are very close, their children are sort of forced into a friendship. If that's the way it began with Brad and McK, we certainly don't have anything to do with it anymore. There is such a purity about the love these two have for one another, that Darlene (McKenzie's mom) and I have often ached over the thought of them finally coming to a point in their relationship where they will make a decision about whether they are going to stay friends or move into something deeper. We just pray that they both reach the same conclusion!

As it is now, they proudly consider themselves best friends. Although I have heard Bradley refer to McKenzie as his girlfriend, I don't think he necessarily means it the same way that most people think of a girlfriend. At school, they are constantly getting teased about being "in love." While this is seeming to bother McKenzie more than it does Bradley (after all, she is a girl and pays more attention to those kinds of things) I think they are both hard-pressed to come up with an accurate description of their feelings.

Last night Darlene told me that McKenzie mentioned to her that Bradley told her he wanted to date her when they get older. And maybe if they get married they could move to Florida. When questioned about why they would want to live there, McKenzie said, "Because Florida is a really cool place!"

Over the past year, we've had to decide when and where we were going to start drawing some lines for these two. For instance, March was a pretty big heartbreak for them both when we had to explain why McKenzie couldn't spend the night at his birthday party. And last night, when they were both sharing this blanket on the couch, I seriously debated about whether I needed to go get her a different throw. Because while we know it is completely innocent now, we want to be sure our standards are set before the black and white areas start to turn gray.

Truthfully, I see some form of heartbreak in their future, and perhaps several different waves of it. But if their hearts bring them back together once all is said and done, won't this be an adorable picture at their rehearsal dinner? :)

If I did it? Is he serious? I read this article about OJ this morning and I'm almost (but obviously not totally) speechless. What a sick, twisted, inconceivable, demented, horrifying thing to do.

My immediate thought is for the families of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman. I pray that they will not read this book or watch the interview because I think it would be more than they could bear. But having recently seen Ron's sister and father on TV in an interview, they still have such a burning hatred for this man, that I wouldn't be surprised if they do. Hopefully they will be able to find some legal loophole that offers something they can take back to prosecuters who could hopefully find a way to prosecute him again that wouldn't invoke double jeopardy. That's a totally intriguing prospect, and I really hope it comes to fruition.

Now, why exactly would OJ do this? Could he be so desperate for cash that he is willing to sink to a level unthinkable to any normal, rational person, especially one with children who will be undeniably, irreparably harmed by this admission of alleged guilt. (Give me a break.) This would prove what I've often wondered over the years, that he is criminally insane. It's unfathamable that he would do this without being assured it can't hurt him by his legal experts, but he has so often mocked the legal system and spit in the faces of those who would judge him, that it wouldn't completely surprise me.

There's also the option that he is just a complete egomaniac, so in love with himself that he can't imagine a circumstance where this would get him in trouble. I think there's evidence that could totally back that up.

The more intriguing option to me, though, is that he has been so overrun with guilt for the past 12 years that this is the only thing he can think of to try and gain a sense of absolution, without just coming out with a confession. According to this article, when being interviewed for the TV special, he was asked to read from one of the chapters of the book about the night in question and he broke down in tears, claiming that he "can't have his kids hear him say this." That would suggest a conscience, something I'm sure most people would be surprised to discover he has.

So, what do we make of this? If he wants to confess, shouldn't natural consequences follow? I think he's seeking punishment. I think he's trying to face the demons that have been haunting him for over a decade. Let's give him what he wants, please.

What must those jurors that acquitted him be thinking now? I was so disgusted with the verdict when it came down in the face of such overwhelming evidence. But I remember watching a documentary where I learned that the jurors were not privy to much of the information that the general public was, and that was the fault of some pretty lousy prosecution by the State. But they were able to see all that information afterwards, and I'm sure many of them have tried for years to tell themselves that they didn't set a guilty man free, no matter what the evidence suggested. What will they do now?

Pray for Sydney and Justin, those poor, poor kids. And for Nicole's sister, and her and Ron's families. Hopefully this will be the beginning of the last chapter of a long and twisted saga, and this time the killer won't get away.

Here's what I'm thinking about while I'm supposed to be working. (Sorry, Dana.) Do angels sin? What got me thinking about this is that God has been convicting me of pride in my life lately. Like, all the time. Several times a day I can almost hear Him saying, "See that? That's pride." So this led me to think about the great author of pride, Satan himself. Which started me thinking about how his pride led to him getting booted out of heaven and taking 1/3 of the angels with him. This suggests to me that angels have free will, or else how could they have chosen to follow Satan?

Keeping this in mind, are we then to assume that angels go about their daily business confronted with temptation to sin? Somehow this has never occurred to me before. I know that the only sinless being is God Himself, along with Jesus and the Holy Spirit. So, I'm just not sure where to go from there.

While googling this and searching some scripture (again, I'm procrastinating) I didn't really find an answer to suggest that angels sin, except for Job 4:18, which I'm not really sure is saying that anyway, but I did find 1 Peter 1:12, a thought-provoking verse that sent me down a totally different rabbit trail about whether humans are privy to information that angels aren't.

Unfortunately that's all the time I have for today's edition of "things that make you go hmmmm." I really do have to work now.

This is my beautiful friend Ericka, now Ericka Robertson Frank. On Saturday, she had one of the most worshipful weddings I have ever attended, and I was so proud to be a witness to this milestone in her life.

Ericka and I have been friends since 1991, when we were freshmen at Samford. We were in a pilot program for a new curriculum, so we had most of our classes together. She is one of those people that come into your life that you just keep in your heart's "favorites" folder. I've never known anyone quite like her, and consider myself lucky to have her as a friend.

Ericka started making cakes at a very young age, even making a wedding cake as a teenager. Her talent is AMAZING, as everything she makes is both beautiful and delicious. After moving to St. Louis, she began selling her cakes, cookies and cupcakes out of her kitchen, and seven years later was able to open her very own bakery. I was thrilled to get a chance to visit it while we were in St. Louis. I don't know why I'm so impressed by this, but I just am. I guess I don't feel old enough to have friends that own their own business and actually pay people to work for them.While I was in her bakery, I noticed that her cakes had been featured in a magazine called St. Louis Brides. Amazing.

Ericka, I am so proud of you. Life has thrown you some interesting curves and you have come out refined as gold. Congratulations on your new life with Kevin. I can't wait to see how God blesses you next!

Greetings from St. Louis! It's a chilly, overcast day, but we are having a great time anyway. We arrived yesterday afternoon about 3:30 p.m. and checked in to our B&B (pictured above). It's called Napoleon's Retreat and it's very near LaFayette Park, which was the original city park of Old St. Louis. It's an old historic neighborhood, and the building we are staying in was built in 1880. The street is beautiful, and we are within blocks of several great restaurants, including the place where the wedding reception will be held tonight, even though we totally didn't plan it that way.
For dinner, we ate at a cute little Italian place called Ricardo's. The walls were painted to make it look like you were eating outside in a Tuscan village, so it was a fun place, and the food was really good. We walked down the street to a place called Bailey's Chocolate Bar. Vicki, I may have to bring you here for your birthday next year. It was UNBELIEVABLE! Jeff and I shared a hot fudge brownie with carmelized bananas, Bailey's ice cream, chocolate ice cream, hot fudge, hot caramel, and whipped cream. :)

This morning we slept in until almost 9:00, something I haven't done since I can't even remember. My body took Bryant's place and woke me up at 5:00, but I rejected it and went back to sleep. We had blueberry pancakes and bacon for breakfast and then were off to the Gateway Arch. We had tickets to ride the tram at 11:00, and we almost didn't make it because we failed to read the fine print that suggested arriving 30 minutes early to get through all the security measures. Whoops!

Once we arrived, we went down a set of stairways until we were in a very small, claustrophobic hallway. The ticket lady told us to stand in front of door number 8. When the door opened, we were faced with a scene straight out of Mork and Mindy. We literally climbed into an egg with three strangers, in order to begin our ascent to the top. This was not the most comfortable thing I've ever done, and I think our three companions felt the same way.

After a few minutes, our egg cracked back open and we exited into an even more claustrophobic stairway. The top of the arch is just a little hallway with windows on either side, so you can see the Missouri River and Illinois out one side and downtown St. Louis on the other, including the new Busch Stadium, home of the World Series winning Cardinals.

After coming back down, we wandered around the Museum of Westward Expansion for a little while. Lots of reading, but some interesting things to see. Then we headed out to the Old Courthouse, which is where the famous Dred Scott court case began back in the 1800's. The Rotunda of the building is amazing, and it's neat to stand in a place with such historical significance.

Afterwards, we went to find the bakery that my friend Ericka (whose wedding we are here for) has owned for the past year or so. I'm SO PROUD of her for having her own bakery. She started off making cookies and cakes out of her home kitchen, and she now owns her very own bakery and has actual employees. This is just so cool. Her bakery is called the cakery, and we very much enjoyed getting to see it and taste some of her cookies while we were there.

We had lunch at a Mexican place called Arecilia's, and now we're back at the B&B watching some football before getting ready to go to the wedding. It's been an incredibly relaxing and fun weekend, and I can't wait to see my beautiful friend begin a new life tonight. Congratulations Ericka and Kevin!

Who is this man and where is my Dubya? I'm just so sad right now.

For months, I've listened to disallusioned Republicans talk about how Bush has abandoned the party and how they regret ever having voted for him. I've always dismissed this because I can only imagine how much worse things would be if Al Gore or John Kerry had been President in his place. I will continue to stand by that.

When he liked the idea of selling port security to a company from the United Arab Emirates, I could come up with some plausible excuses for what he might be thinking and how he might have a point. When he created new entitlement programs that soared into the billions of dollars in order to work with his "democrat friends," I tried to see it from his point of view and give him the benefit of the doubt. His ideas about a guest worker program and comprehensive immigration reform still have me puzzled, but again, I have tried to see it from his side because of the fact that I have always trusted that he was attempting to make decisions in the best interest of the country.

He has been a fantastic war time president. I will continue to support his efforts in Iraq, because I believe that things there are far better than the pictures we see on the news, and that my country is a safer place today due to awareness and proactive policies in the war on terrorism.

So here we are today, the day after a resounding defeat in the general midterm election. A great number of Americans seem to have voiced that they want a change. I fear that they are going to get much more than they bargained for.

I am shocked that Rumsfeld's resignation was announced today. I am not shocked that he resigned, and I'm not even sure that this is a bad thing. I know that he is hated by the Democratic leadership, and if getting someone new in there means we have a better chance of succeeding in our war effort, then I'm all for it. My problem is that this looks like a huge sign of weakness and defeat. The votes are STILL BEING COUNTED.

Bush's press conference today just made me sick. Instead of realizing that the country was voting against the Republican party for straying from its basic conservative values, he seems to think that the country was voting against conservatism in general. I know this is not true, due to the number of democrats who ran on "conservative" principles and were elected. In the weeks and months leading up to this election, there was much talk of Republicans who were planning to either vote Democrat or not vote at all to send a message to their congressman that they are not pleased with the lack of conservatism coming out in their policies. This is what lost the election, I truly believe. But Bush seems to just be planning on handing his opposition all the things they want, starting with Rummy's head on a platter. Is he expecting them to be pacified with this? I seriously doubt it.

What upsets me most about losing yesterday is what we have to look forward to for the next two years. I can hardly say "Speaker Pelosi" without getting a little choked. We know that Charlie Rangel is no fan of tax cuts and he will now be the chairman of the Ways and Means committee. Alcee Hastings is set to become the chairman of the Intelligence committee, and he was impeached for corruption and perjury back in the 1980's as a federal judge before getting elected to Congress. These are scary, scary things to me.

Does anybody not think that there will be an effort to impeach Bush, oust Cheney, bring Rummy and Rice up on charges of war crimes, or any number of outrageous things? I really hope not, but I would so not be surprised.

I have to say that I'm a little bit worried about the fact that Corker got such an underwhelming majority coming out of Chattanooga. Do they know something that we're about to learn? I just found that really odd.

I'm also really sad about Rick Santorum, by the way.

So, what's the good news? I think it may not be a terrible thing for the country to get a reminder of what life is like when liberals are in control. I actually don't think it's a terrible thing for Republicans to be out of power, if it acts as a catalyst back to conservatism for the 2008 election. I hope that this serves as a wake-up call to those who would run for office next time, instead of making them think that moderate is where it's at. I'm not even terribly concerned about what's going to come out of Congress, considering that it is going to be split virtually 50/50 again, and we all know what a gridlock that was last time.

Ultimately, the good news is that God is in control. My pastor has taught me that God is not limited by which political party is in office. He can do whatever He wants to, without even checking His approval rating. It's up to me to work on His campaign, and ultimately I know that's a winning ticket.

Let The Games Begin!

I'm not delusional. I know that there are a huge number of people that really don't get excited about election day. But to me it's one of the most exciting days of the 2-year cycle. I am why the 24-hr news channels will be making predictions all day long. I will have nervous energy all day until the polls close and they start posting election returns. The fact that the races are so close and the stakes are so high just makes it that much more fun. Adding to the sheer joy of it is watching the media fall all over themselves trying to be first with the results. I don't think they're nearly as close to taking back the Senate as they think they are, so it will be fun to watch them try not to appear totally dejected if things don't go their way.

Anyone care to make a wager as to what time they will unofficially declare that the Dems have taken back control? 1 p.m.? 3 p.m.? Or will they wait until 7 Eastern time? It will happen, I assure you. They just can't help themselves. But you have to give them props for optimism, since it's the only time they seem to have any.

Decision 2008 begins tomorrow! What a wild ride that will be...

November 5, 2006
My Dear New Life Church Family,
I am so sorry. I am sorry for the disappointment, the betrayal, and the hurt. I am sorry for the horrible example I have set for you.

I have an overwhelming, all-consuming sadness in my heart for the pain that you and I and my family have experienced over the past few days. I am so sorry for the circumstances that have caused shame and embarrassment to all of you.

I asked that this note be read to you this morning so I could clarify my heart's condition to you. The last four days have been so difficult for me, my family and all of you, and I have further confused the situation with some of the things I've said during interviews with reporters who would catch me coming or going from my home. But I alone am responsible for the confusion caused by my inconsistent statements. The fact is, I am guilty of sexual immorality, and I take responsibility for the entire problem.

I am a deceiver and a liar. There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I’ve been warring against it all of my adult life. For extended periods of time, I would enjoy victory and rejoice in freedom. Then, from time to time, the dirt that I thought was gone would resurface, and I would find myself thinking thoughts and experiencing desires that were contrary to everything I believe and teach.

Through the years, I’ve sought assistance in a variety of ways, with none of them proving to be effective in me. Then, because of pride, I began deceiving those I love the most because I didn’t want to hurt or disappoint them.

The public person I was wasn’t a lie; it was just incomplete. When I stopped communicating about my problems, the darkness increased and finally dominated me. As a result, I did things that were contrary to everything I believe.

The accusations that have been leveled against me are not all true, but enough of them are true that I have been appropriately and lovingly removed from ministry. Our church's overseers have required me to submit to the oversight of Dr. James Dobson, Pastor Jack Hayford, and Pastor Tommy Barnett. Those men will perform a thorough analysis of my mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical life. They will guide me through a program with the goal of healing and restoration for my life, my marriage, and my family. I created this entire situation. The things that I did opened the door for additional allegations. But I am responsible; I alone need to be disciplined and corrected. An example must be set.

It is important that you know how much I love and appreciate my wife, Gayle. What I did should never reflect in a negative way on her relationship with me. She has been and continues to be incredible. The problem was not with her, my children, or any of you. It was created 100% by me.

I have been permanently removed from the office of Senior Pastor of New Life Church. Until a new senior pastor is chosen, our Associate Senior Pastor, Ross Parsley, will assume all of the responsibilities of the office. On the day he accepted this new role, he and his wife, Aimee, had a new baby boy. A new life in the midst of this circumstance—I consider that confluence of events to be prophetic. Please commit to join with Pastor Ross and the others in church leadership to make their service to you easy and without burden. They are fine leaders. You are blessed.

I appreciate your loving and forgiving nature, and I humbly ask you to do a few things:

1. Please stay faithful to God through service and giving.

2. Please forgive me. I am so embarrassed and ashamed. I caused this and I have no excuse. I am a sinner. I have fallen. I desperately need to be forgiven and healed.

3. Please forgive my accuser. He is revealing the deception and sensuality that was in my life. Those sins, and others, need to be dealt with harshly. So, forgive him and, actually, thank God for him. I am trusting that his actions will make me, my wife and family, and ultimately all of you, stronger. He didn’t violate you; I did.

4. Please stay faithful to each other. Perform your functions well. Encourage each other and rejoice in God’s faithfulness. Our church body is a beautiful body, and like every family, our strength is tested and proven in the midst of adversity.
Because of the negative publicity I’ve created with my foolishness, we can now demonstrate to the world how our sick and wounded can be healed, and how even disappointed and betrayed church bodies can prosper and rejoice.

Gayle and I need to be gone for a while. We will never return to a leadership role at New Life Church. In our hearts, we will always be members of this body. We love you as our family. I know this situation will put you to the test. I’m sorry I’ve created the test, but please rise to this challenge and demonstrate the incredible grace that is available to all of us.
Ted Haggard


November 5, 2006

Dear Women of New Life Church,
I am so sorry for the circumstances that have led me to write this letter to you today. I know your hearts are broken; mine is as well. Yet my hope rests steadfastly in the Lord who is forever faithful.

What I want you to know is that I love my husband, Ted Haggard, with all my heart. I am committed to him until death “do us part.” We started this journey together and with the grace of God, we will finish together.

If I were standing before you today, I would not change one iota of what I have been teaching the women of our church. For those of you who have been concerned that my marriage was so perfect I could not possibly relate to the women who are facing great difficulties, know that this will never again be the case. My test has begun; watch me. I will try to prove myself faithful.

I love you all so much, especially you young women—you were my delight.

To all the church family of new Life Church—Ted and I are so proud of you. You are all we hoped you would be. In our minds, there is no greater church.

As you try to make sense of these past few days, know that Ted believes with all his heart and soul everything he has ever taught you, those things you are putting into practice. He is now the visible and public evidence that every man (woman and child) needs a Savior.

We are grateful for your prayers for our family.

I hold you forever in my heart,
Gayle Haggard

Assuming that these letters are geniune, and I have no reason to believe that they aren't, I believe that this couple will make it. I believe that Ted Haggard loves God, and I believe that God loves him and wants to bring him to full reconciliation and healing. I believe that it is not my place to judge him for what he has done. I believe that the same grace that covers my sins extends to Ted Haggard.

What worries me most is the impact that this story will have, not on cynics and non-believers who are relishing in another hypocrite exposed, but on brand new believers who will undoubtedly be confused by this.

Just last night I was talking to a friend who has only been a believer for a few short months. She was disallusioned because so many married men hit on her, and she was wondering if there are ANY decent men anywhere. I was encouraging her to make one of her requirements when dating someone that the man have a personal relationship with God. This is what grounds us, I told her. People who don't answer to a higher power than themselves will undoubtedly make bad choices if they live by just doing whatever feels right at the time.

So, how do you explain the actions of Ted Haggard, a man who does have a personal relationship with God, and who is the pastor of a huge congregation? We can't just write him off and say he probably wasn't really a believer to begin with, because I honestly don't believe that. I've struggled with my own flesh enough to know better.

What it took me a long time to learn is that my spirit is a totally separate thing from my body and soul. It is sealed, and Satan can't get to it no matter how hard he tries. But as long as I'm here on earth, he has access to my flesh. This is why we can relate to Paul in Romans 7, "For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it." Thankfully, it is because of God's grace that our identify is defined by our spirit, not by our flesh.

This recent exposure for Mr. Haggard was certainly best for him in the long run. He obviously needed help and now he will be free to receive it. My heart breaks for him as I read his agonizing confession. His sin is no worse than any other, except possibly for the fact that he is accountable for his congregation. I know he will one day look back at this point on his spiritual road and thank God for giving him a chance to break free from the bondage that he's been in for so long.

My prayer is that the disallusionment about the church that is sure to follow will not win in the hearts of those precious new believers and those still seeking the Truth. I know that right now Satan is doing a victory dance. I just pray that one day we will be able to look at this moment in time through the lens of Genesis 50:20, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." May it be so.

Have you seen the new ad where Harold Ford says, "Come Tuesday, you won't have to hear me say, 'I'm Harold Ford, and I've approved this message' anymore"? Way to go, Harold! You've finally said something we can appreciate.

I heard today that Bob Corker has run over 12,000 ads since the August primaries. That feels about right.

Meanwhile, in Iran, they've just performed their third major missile test, code named "Great Prophet". They set off missiles that would be able to reach Israel, as well as a warhead that would distribute over 1400 baby bombs at the same time. The reason we should be concerned about this is because Crazy Dan Ahmadenijad believes that his purpose in life is to usher in Armageddon and the return of this "great prophet." Consider the article below from one of my favorite bloggers, Joel Rosenberg. It makes the daily media saga of Mark Foley, Rush Limbaugh, Michael J. Fox and the great John Kerry seem a lot less significant.

Four more days, four more days...

Thursday, September 21, 2006

MEDIA UNDER AHMADINEJAD'S SPELL: Why have Time, NBC, others refused to examine his dangerous religious beliefs?

(LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA, September 20, 2006 -- updated on 9/21) -- Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinjad has launched a charm offensive through the mainstream media. First was his "exclusive" interview with Mike Wallace on CBS's "60 Minutes." Now the Iranian leader is on the cover of Time magazine this week. Tuesday, he did a lengthy interview with NBC's Brian Williams. Wednesday, he did a 20 minute interview with CNN's Anderson Cooper. And, of course, Ahmadinejad's speech yesterday blasting the United States (while on American soil) made headlines around the world.Yet something has been curiously absent from all this media coverage.

American journalists aren't asking Ahmadinejad about his Shiite religious beliefs, his fascination with the coming of the Islamic Messiah known as the "Twelfth Imam" or the "Mahdi," his critique of President Bush's faith in Jesus Christ and encouragement of President Bush to convert to Islam, and how such beliefs are driving Iranian foreign policy.

Time's cover story and exclusive print interview with Ahmadinejad never broached the subject of his eschatology (end times theology). Nor did Williams. Nor did Wallace. Nor does a just-released book, Confronting Iran: The Failure of American Foreign Policy And the Next Great Crisis in the Middle East, by British Iran expert Ali M. Ansari. Nor does almost any of the saturation coverage Ahmadinejad is receiving.

Journalists aren’t typically shy about asking tough, probing questions about the religious views of world leaders. President Bush has been grilled at length about being an evangelical Christian and how this informs his foreign policy, particularly with regards to Israel and the Middle East. Clearly the pope’s views of Christianity and Islam are now under fire. Why such hesitancy when it comes to the religious beliefs of a leader who has called for the Jewish state to be wiped off the planet and urges fellow Muslims to envision a world without the United States?

I think Ahmadinejad is waiting to be asked. He wants to talk about what he believes and why he believes it. His religion shapes who he is and what is driving him. When he addressed the United Nations General Assembly last year, he concluded his speech by praying for Allah to hasten the coming of "the Promised One," the Islamic Messiah also known as the "Twelfth Imam" or the "Mahdi." When he got back to Tehran, the Iranian leader told colleagues that during his speech he was surrounded by a halo of light, and that for 27 or 28 minutes as he spoke, delegates were so mesmerized by the words Allah was speaking through him that no one blinked. Not once.

In the months that followed, Ahmadinejad made his Islamic eschatology even more clear. He told followers that he believed the end of the world was rapidly approaching, and that the way to hasten the coming of the Messiah was to launch a global jihad to annihilate Israel and the United States. He also told followers that the "Mahdi" is already on the planet, but has not yet chosen to reveal himself. What's more, Ahmadinejad has said that he has personally been in contact with the "Mahdi" and received instructions from him, instructions that are apparently leading Iran to prepare for an apocalyptic war to annihilate Judeo-Christian civilization as we know it.

On Tuesday night, he concluded his speech before the U.N. General Assembly with this prayer: "Oh, almighty God, all men and women are your creatures and you have ordained their guidance and salvation. Bestow upon humanity that thirst for justice, the perfect human being promised [the Twelfth Imam, the Islamic Messiah] to all by you, and makers among his followers and among those who strive for his return and his cause."

My baby is screaming. He has another ear infection. I've given him Ibuprofin. He's still screaming. I used the numbing drops. He's still screaming. I've held him, rocked him, nursed him, kissed him, changed him, loved on him, scolded him (just a little), picked him up, laid him down... he's still screaming. Now he's crying. No, wait, that's me.

I love living in Nashville. Last night I went to see the Lion King (AMAZING!) with a group of friends, and as I was walking away from TPAC through Lesislative Plaza gazing at my surroundings, I just felt so happy to be there. During intermission, my friend Kristen had told me that she and her husband moved to Nashville without even having jobs because they just knew that they were supposed to live here. My experience was somewhat different.

When Jeff told me in late December 1997 that he was being transferred to Nashville, I cried. I had no desire to come here. "What's in Nashville?" I asked. What a dork. I grew up in the mountains of East Tennessee, and if I was going to move back to Tennessee, that's where I thought I should be. But we felt God telling us to go, so to Nashville we came.

When I first got here, I used to complain about the traffic all the time. Living in Birmingham, I was always five minutes from the interstate, and from there I could get pretty much anywhere I needed to be in 15-20 minutes, tops. Not so in Nashville. Both of our houses have been a good 10-15 minutes from the interstate to begin with, and then getting somewhere from there was a challenge. Not to mention the fact that Jeff moved here six months before me, so I was incredibly frustrated that he knew his way around and I was totally clueless.

Nine years later, I truly could not imagine living anywhere else. I have fallen in love with this city and its surrounding towns. What's funny is that even though we've moved 20 miles south of the city, I still consider myself a Nashvillian. I'm sure the natives of Spring Hill never imagined that their sweet farming community would one day become a suburb of the city, but here we all are.

I love living here in the center of our state government. Walking past the capital building last night and across the Plaza, I was just struck with the history of the place. How many people over the past 150 years have enjoyed its majestic presence? It was a beautiful, cold, clear night last night, and the stars truly seemed to be dancing in the sky overhead. Did you know the capitol building served as a Union fort during the occupation of Nashville during the Civil War? President and Mrs. James K. Polk are buried there. The architect, William Strickland, is entombed in its walls. All those years of history. And since I've lived here, the Plaza was Ground Zero for defeating the state income tax (yes, I drove by and honked my horn just for the fun of it) That was grass roots at its best. And who can forget Al Gore standing on stage declaring that it was just "too close to call"? This is where I live.

Then there's just the fun of it all. I swore that I wouldn't become desensitized to all of the cool stuff that I've gotten to do through my church (see link on the right), like singing on stage at the Ryman with the Gatlin Brothers, filming a video segment for Martina McBride's Christmas concert (even if it did get cut), getting to sing with Twila Paris, Steve Green, Larnelle Harris, David Meece, FFH, just to name a few. Oh, and what the heck, let's be in Michael W. Smith's movie. My husband had a hilarious encounter with Kenny Chesney driving down the interstate one day, and had coffee right across Starbucks from the Governor and his security detail. And where else could I live where my daughter's birthday party gets crashed by Vince Gill?

I have been able to sing and record on numerous occasions with my church choir under the direction of David Hamilton, one of the nation's premiere conductors and arrangers. I truly have gotten to where I take all of this for granted because so many cool things are happening all the time. But even when we're not doing anything "special," just being able to worship at BBC on a weekly basis is an incredible privilege.

Moving to Nashville turned out to be one of the best choices we've ever made. I guess God knew best. Imagine that. :)

Happy Halloween! Bryant wasn't really big on trick or treating, but Brad and Bailey had a ball.

Anyone glad that this man is not called President Kerry?

I'm actually kind of amused by all the demands that he apologize for his moronic statements. If you don't know what I'm talking about, on Monday night, Senator Kerry was speaking to a group of college students in California. He stated, "You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."

Obviously this has set off a firestorm of criticism from virtually everyone in the country, particularly those who have served or are currently serving in our military. What amazes me is the spin that they have finally settled on. Why do I know it is spin? Because they sent out two or three trial balloons that failed before landing on, "It was a botched joke. Everyone knows I was talking about the President." Yeah, clearly. But the fact that it makes no sense has done nothing to stop the media from running with it. What he meant to say was, "you get us stuck in Iraq." Because that really makes so much more sense.

Diane Sawyer was talking to George Stephonopolous on GMA this morning and said, "George, he meant to say 'you get us stuck in Iraq.' Is all this criticism really fair?" Diane, I'm disappointed in you. The man said what he said. He says that he stands by what he said, owing no apology to the troops. He's so cocky and arrogant that he can't even muster up an apology for supposedly saying something he didn't mean to say.

Now, I must admit that I don't really care if he apologizes to the troops or not. An apology is just words. Kerry didn't say anything on Monday night that departs from his general attitude towards the military ever since coming back from Vietnam and testifying about all the atrocities he says he witnessed before Congress. (Remember the Swift Boat Veterans, anyone?) Just last year he made comments about our military terrifying Iraqi women and children by busting into their homes, disrupting religious services, yada, yada, yada. Even in his defense of his latest statement, he says, "Anyone who thinks that I was insulting the men and women serving in Iraq is crazy." Well, considering the fact that virtually everyone serving in Iraq felt insulted by the remarks, you've now just piled on some more.

So why should he apologize? Our society is really funny about that. We demand that people apologize for stuff, even if they don't mean it. I guess it just makes us feel better.

But what really makes me happy about this whole thing is realizing again what a blessing it is that Kerry lost in '04. The man can't ever be honest about anything. Imagine the huge foreign policy issues that we are dealing with right now with Kerry in office. "No, no, Kim Jong-il, I know that you heard me say we demand that you stop pursuing your nuclear program, but what I really meant was ..." Does anybody think he could have just ignored being called Satan by the demented president of Venezuela? No, he would have been outraged and done everything he could to gain the favor of the madmen Hugo Chavez's of the world.

Because, deep down, this is what liberals want. They want to be liked. It really upsets them to think that countries around the world don't like us. Well, what's better, to be liked by the weak or feared by those who wish to do us harm? In order to be liked by France, we would have to BE like France. 9% unemployment and $5.50 per gallon of gas? No thanks.

We have managed to keep terrorism in check these past few years precisely because President Bush doesn't talk out of both sides of his mouth. His decision making is completely unaffected by polling data. Our enemies fear him because they know that he means what he says. We will not tolerate being attacked anymore. Period. Just IMAGINE the double-speak that we would get if the John Kerry's of the country were in charge. It is frightening.

What's really amusing is that the democrats missed him when they did their wildcard roundup. Pelosi, Kennedy and Reid have been nowhere in sight these past couple of weeks, and the party was doing it's best to make everyone forget who would be in leadership if the Dems take back control. Whoops, guys, you forgot one.

Thanks for the October surprise, Senator.