I just got this message on Facebook:

LA,
I had the craziest coolest dream last night. I have been meaning to email you all day.

My dream was so vivid. I was with you and Jeff and I was praying for you. We prayed together and then I spent time with you praying for you. I was praying for your trip, for your safety and for the lives that you will touch. The amazing part is that when I woke up, I felt as if I had prayed deeply for you. I don't dream much. It was amazing.

You are being prayed for-- even in my dreams!!
Jane Anne

How cool is that? :)

When was the last time you knew that God answered your prayer?

For me, it was yesterday. Ever since last Friday, I've been unsettled about our upcoming trip. Thursday night I was on a high when we had a reception dinner for Sarah's family. They are here visiting, and around 120 people from my church came to hear her brother David speak and to learn about our partnership with Baptist Church Hyderabad. This is a huge growth in the number of people who knew about this last year, and interest is definitely growing in what we are doing over there. It was also the first time I had seen Sarah's brother, sister-in-law, niece and mother since we were there last year, and it was a sweet reunion. Our team was commissioned and prayed over, and I left so pumped up and ready to step on a plane. I even got to wear my Indian dress. :)
And then Friday morning I woke up with such a sense of uneasiness. I was frustrated over details and logistics and overwhelmed with all I needed to get done before we leave. I was suddenly anxious over the prospect of leaving my kids behind, especially after hearing about the most recent plane crash. Probably due to ice. Knowing snow is predicted for the day of departure. Having to go through Chicago, my geographical nemesis.

But the weirdest and most disturbing feeling of all was apathy. I suddenly didn't seem to care if I went or not. That is absurd, considering it is all I have wanted to do since I returned last year, and I know beyond a shadow of doubt that God has called us to this journey. But nevertheless, there it was. My joy was gone.

I knew the culprit and I called him out on it. I prayed against the spirits that I knew were plaguing me, and I had friends do so on my behalf. But it still seemed to linger. I was so frustrated and feeling so defeated.

And then I got an e-mail out of the blue. A friend from college that I haven't spoken to except to briefly catch up on Facebook saw on my status that I was heading to India. He asked me to give him a call to talk about it. It turns out that he has recently been there and God has given him an equal passion for the people of that country. He was SO excited talking about his experience there, and as we spoke I could feel that dark cloud lift. I was reminded of WHY I am going back there. It is about the people we are trying to reach. Those beautiful, fascinating people who were born into a world completely unlike my own. My passion returned, along with my joy. What a beautiful thing.

After we hung up I just cried and thanked God for that amazing gift. Here was a person I hadn't spoken to in years, just suddenly contacting me on a day that I needed it most of all. I posted that status last Thursday, and yet he didn't get in touch with me until yesterday.

So thank you, Curt, if you are reading this. God used you in a way you couldn't have foreseen. And thank you to the mighty prayer warriors who are lifting us up through this leg of the journey. I can't imagine doing this without you.

I love watching God work. He is so good and faithful and intimately involved in our lives. Pour yourself out to Him and listen for His voice. He's listening for yours.

One of the projects I've been working on for India is making eyeglass cases for the glasses we'll be giving away at the clinic. It's been a family project for us, along with some other enlistments.

First, my dad marked up five vinyl tablecloths into 7-inch squares.
Next, we cut them out. Some of my fellow choir teachers helped do this at rehearsal one night. Thanks girls!
Then a simple fold and stitching up two sides. This is the most action my sewing machine has seen in the past ten years. I'm so grateful to Janice Todd for making 250 of these for me!The kids at church worked on making some inserts to slide inside with the glasses. Some simply say, "Jesus Loves You," but a few worked hard at putting more on there.
The final product...
After all was said and done we have 562 of these. The goal is to see around 150 people per day for five days, but not all of them will need glasses. I'm really hoping we have enough for everyone to have one. They aren't anything deluxe, but better than a snack-sized Ziploc bag.

Thanks to everyone who gave me a hand with these. I love how so many people are having a chance to be a part of this trip!

Quick Update:

Jeff's neck is doing quite a bit better. We prayed for supernatural speed in healing, and I really believe God has answered that prayer. We also found out today that the truck is totaled, which made Jeff a little sad since they had originally said it could be fixed. We will probably not deal with this until we get back since insurance covers a rental for a while and we won't need one while we are gone.

I've developed a pretty bad sinus infection, but thanks to my sweet doctor and a powerful antibiotic, I should be on the mend by the weekend.

I've started collecting things to take to the orphanage. If anyone wants to sponsor a bag of socks for $6, just let me know. I bought nine packs. The girls all need them for school, and since they range from 5 to 18 years old, I didn't want to miss anybody. I can't wait to take them all of the stuff we're collecting. I wish I could bring all 50 of them home with me!

Please keep praying - I truly can feel them already! One week to go...

Jeff's truck.
The other guy.

This day did not start well. Just as my kids were getting up and dressed, Jeff called to tell me he'd been in a bad wreck on I-65 North. His phone was rattling around in the console, so he reached down to pick it up and move it to the sticky pad. When he looked up, traffic in his lane had completely stopped and he barely had time to brake. He slammed into the back of the Honda Accord in front of him, knocking it into a fiberglass trailer, causing it to detach from the truck that was carrying it and turning it over onto the Interstate. As some of you might know from your morning commute, traffic was pretty backed up for a while.

We are praising God that everyone walked away. Jeff is suffering from whiplash, and was told by the EMT at the scene that he would be pretty sore for several days. The guy that he hit had some bruised ribs and a bump on his head from hitting the windshield, but was otherwise okay. He was so gracious, and assured Jeff that there was nothing he could have done. We are so thankful that things weren't so much worse.

When Jeff called me, I called Mom and Dad to ask if they could take Bryant to preschool for me so I could go pick Jeff up. When I was about to turn out of my neighborhood, I heard what sounded like a quick siren. I looked both ways and saw nothing. Since Bryant was playing his Leapster, I assumed what I had heard came from the video game. I actually thought to myself, "That is way too realistic. They shouldn't use that sound."

I went up the street about 50 yards and turned left into my mom's neighborhood. As I turned, I heard the siren again. This time I looked behind me to see some furious blue lights. I was completely confused and trying to figure out where in the heck he came from. So I pull over about two houses away from my parents' house. The police officer walks super slow up to the car and kind of introduces himself from behind my window and asks for my license, like he's afraid I'm going to make a sudden move.

"Officer," I say, "I don't understand what I've done." I explained that I had heard a siren, but didn't see anyone and thought it was a video game.

He said, "Ma'am, didn't you see me pull out behind you at [an intersection in my neighborhood]? What's wrong is that you completely ran that stop sign." I swear I have no memory of this and I never saw him.

I told him that I honestly didn't and explained to him what had happened and where I was headed. Luckily, he could tell that I was being honest and he was gracious enough to let me go with a warning to slow down and pay attention to what I was doing.

When we got home from picking up Jeff, Bailey discovered that her fish had died. Things were not going well.

While the specifics of this were unexpected, trouble was not. We leave in a little over a week on a mission for Christ. I know the Enemy hates that and will do everything in his evil power to mess things up for us before we go. His attacks are as predictable as they are relentless.

Please pray for Jeff's muscle soreness to go away before we get on a plane for all those many hours. Please pray that the truck is considered totaled. Please pray for Joe, the guy Jeff hit, that his soreness will be relieved soon. And I'm soliciting your prayer for our physical and spiritual protection as they day of departure draws near. I'm so grateful for you!

Sleepover

Two happier girls you have never seen. Wish it was always this easy!

Ok, so here's what happened.

As we've been preparing to go to India, Sarah shared with us that Baptist Church Hyderabad, as a church body, has been focusing on a passage in Joel for 2009. Many of them are memorizing it and really calling on it corporately as their prayer this year. So we read it as a group and were a little bit bewildered by it. See what you think:

12 "Even now," declares the LORD,
"return to me with all your heart,
with fasting and weeping and mourning."

13 Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity.

14 Who knows? He may turn and have pity
and leave behind a blessing—
grain offerings and drink offerings
for the LORD your God.

15 Blow the trumpet in Zion,
declare a holy fast,
call a sacred assembly.

16 Gather the people,
consecrate the assembly;
bring together the elders,
gather the children,
those nursing at the breast.
Let the bridegroom leave his room
and the bride her chamber.

17 Let the priests, who minister before the LORD,
weep between the temple porch and the altar.
Let them say, "Spare your people, O LORD.
Do not make your inheritance an object of scorn,
a byword among the nations.
Why should they say among the peoples,
'Where is their God?' " (Joel 2:12-17)

A bit heavy, right? I can't imagine my church picking this as its theme chapter. So we've been pondering this and trying to find some way to relate to it.

Now, in my Bible study this semester we are doing Beth Moore's study on Esther. On Monday, I was reading the passage in the beginning of Esther 4, where Mordecai has learned of the edict that has sentenced every Jew in the Medo-Persian empire to death by massacre. Vs 1 says that Mordecai tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes and went out into the city, wailing loudly and bitterly. Vs 3 says there was great mourning among the Jews, with fasting, weeping and wailing.

As Beth begins to commentate on this passage, she says that the only other place in the Bible these exact words are used is in the book of Joel, chapter 2, vs 12-17. My ears sort of perk up at this. She said that the book of Joel precedes the book of Esther, and the words that Mordecai uses in his message to Esther would have certainly been a reference to this prophetic passage.

In Chapter 4, Verses 12-14, Mordecai answers Esther's excuse that trying to talk to the king without being summoned would put her very life at risk with these words. "Do not think that because you are in the king's house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"

Beth suggests that Mordecai and the rest of the Jews were doing more than just lamenting their fate. By tearing their clothes and putting on sackcloth and ashes, fasting, weeping and wailing they were outwardly expressing to God their desire to return to Him and begging for His unfailing mercy. Because the Jews had been in Persia so long they were almost entirely assimilated into the culture. As my pastor says, people didn't have a problem with them for being different, but for not being different enough.

So go back and read Joel 2:12-17 in the context of Esther 4. The words "who knows?" just jump off the page. It's not so much a maybe as a phrase of hope.

Now picture being a Christian in India. You represent about 2 percent of the entire population, which is over a billion people. In many places there is an anti-Christian sentiment, and in some places even brutal persecution. There must be times when you feel that all hope for India becoming a Christian nation is completely futile. But you are serious about your faith and your desire to see that very thing happen is overwhelming. Suddenly, the words of Joel come to life in a whole new way.

I realize that may not blow anyone but me away. But here I have been struggling with a random passage in a tiny book of the prophets trying to decipher some relevance out of it, and Beth Moore just happens to commentate on that same very random passage? I was completely astounded and amazed, not only by the personal nature of it, but by the very words themselves.

Rend your hearts and not your garments. Don't outwardly profess grief over your actions unless you are going to get off your butt and turn from them. Return to the LORD for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.

Who knows? He may turn and have pity and leave behind a blessing. Or perhaps He already has.

God totally blew me away this morning. I've been trying all day to find time to blog about it. Unfortunately, now that all three children are occupied, I only have ten minutes. Not enough time.

But He's awesome.

Here's one more scene with Brad.

Here's the link if you want to watch Bailey dance. She gets almost every move, even if it is on a slight delay!

And here's Brad in his big scene. The line before his big one is, "I've got to go fire up the barbie."

I'm so proud!

Boomerang Express

Tonight our kids' choir had the amazing opportunity to premiere this year's VBS musical at Lifeway for about 300 folks from all over the country here to attend a VBS conference. We have been preparing for this for a few months, but were literally blown away at how God showed up and SHOWED OFF through our kids! It was utterly incredible. They sounded amazing and we didn't end up having to use any of the panned vocals. I'm still in disbelief over that one.

They get to do it again tomorrow night for another 350 folks in a standing-room-only crowd. There are over 100 people on a waiting list to get into the venue. Craziness. Apparently this is the highlight of the VBS conference every year. I'm glad we didn't really understand that until we got there or we probably would have been even more intimidated!

But I have to brag on my baby. Bradley played one of the character roles and he was a natural! Here is a picture of him after he has delivered a show-stopper and the crowd was just cackling at his one-liner. I'm uploading this scene to You Tube right now, so I'll link to it as soon as it's done.
Note the huge grin on his face as the crowd goes wild. I think he might have gotten bit by the showbiz bug tonight!

The best part was that the gospel was preached through our kids in an incredibly uplifting and fun way. And now it will be carried out all across the world through Vacation Bible School this year. What an amazing thing to be a part of.

Here's some of the lyrics to my favorite song this year called "Follow":

I've never been the s-a-m-e,
since you called me by my n-a-m-e.
Your l-o-v-e for me has changed my l-i-f-e!

Preach it. :)

Yesterday morning my kids were working on their math at the table when I overheard this conversation:

Bailey: I hate math! Subtraction is so hard.

Brad: You think that's hard? Take a look at this. (He then shows her the equation that he is trying to solve. n - 12 = 925-907) He points at the variable and says, "I have to figure out what this is."

Bailey: (Looking at him in sheer amazement) Uh, Brad? It's a lowercase n.

So nice that she got to feel smarter than her brother, at least for a moment!

----------------------

Let's talk about Facebook. Some of you may have no frame of reference for this because you've never gone there. But others of you are probably like me, and spend more time there than you care to actually admit.

Facebook is a fun way to keep up with what's going on in the lives of your friends and family. For instance, they might post a status that says they are headed to the beach and you can be happy for them (or insanely jealous, whatever the case may be.) Or they might post a status about their frustration over something in the news. Or they might post something about being overwhelmed, or in a place of trusting God or something similar to that. If you know them well, you may know what they are talking about and it reminds you to stop and say a prayer for them right then.

Facebook is also a place to reconnect with people from your past, many of whom you may not have seen or talked to in decades. This is the part I've been thinking about lately. It's amazing how sometimes you'll reconnect with a person and just pick right up where you left off, as if you just spoke to them the other day. Those are the fun ones. For me, however, those are few and far between.

There's another group of folks that you were acquaintances with, and once you've said hello and sort of done a mini catch-up on where they are in life, there's nothing left to say. And then there's the friend requests that you receive and you look at the picture and name and think, "I have no idea who this person is. None." You wonder, do they really remember me? What was I to them? Am I a complete jerk for not knowing them? You can go down this path of self-condemnation for as long as you like, although that's probably just because I'm a girl. You are then faced with the dilemma of accepting their friend request so you don't seem mean and opening up your stuff to someone you don't know, or ignoring them and feeling like a snob. I'm sensitive about feeling like a snob, but I usually do it anyway.

But recently I've discovered that Facebook has a lot of power, for both good and evil. Let's do good first. I was discussing this with a friend yesterday, and she was telling me a story about reconnecting with a friend that she had lost in college. They had been best friends in high school and had some sort of major fall-out in college that led to the annihilation of the duo. She has regretted losing that relationship ever since. When she learned that her former friend was on Facebook, she immediately sent her a message asking for forgiveness over the way their friendship had ended. Her friend readily accepted, and a broken relationship has now been restored all these many years later. That is an amazing story of redemption.

But I experienced something so bizarre the other day. After reconnecting with an old friend, I suddenly began to feel some old feelings of insecurity. It was someone I always felt intimidated around and always felt the need to impress. I was stunned at how quickly those feelings came back. It's been almost 18 years since I graduated from high school. I've come a really long way from the person I was then. I truly have found my identity in Christ and feel confident in the person that God made me to be. So why was I suddenly transported back to being a teenage girl and all of the insecurity that goes along with that?

I think it's the power of the wounds that haunt us. I have spent a lot of time with God examining things in my past that were the catalyst for certain behavior patterns and aspects of my personality. A lot of those are painful memories, even though on the surface I have lived a pretty charmed life. But the spoken word can be so cruel. All of you can remember something that was said to you during childhood that hurt you so deeply you have never forgotten it. Even if it wasn't intentional, the scar still remains. If you never go back and invite Jesus to heal that place, it has the potential to fester until it becomes an infection that permeates your very being. But we can talk more about that another day.

For now, what to do about Facebook? For me, I just have to remember that my identity is not wrapped up in who I was at any stage over the past 35 years. It is wrapped up in who I am in Christ. Thankfully, I can rest in the knowledge that no matter how I may feel today, Someone thinks I'm a princess and loves me with an everlasting love that will never fail and is completely unmerited so it can't be lost. Thank God for that!

I'm off to update my status...

25 Random Things About Me

I just did this for Facebook, and figured I might as well post it here too. I feel guilty when I go too long without blogging. I have no explanation for that.

1. When I found out that I was moving to Nashville in 1998, I cried. Now you would have to drag me away kicking and screaming.
2. I never thought it would be possible to love four people as much as I love my family.
3. I'm going to India next month. I'm hoping India and Pakistan can sort of chill in the meantime.
4. Traveling internationally is one of my passions. I've been to more foreign countries than American states. I think Thailand is the farthest, depending on which way you go.
5. In once ran from security at the Louvre after accidentally taking a flash picture of the Mona Lisa. I'm pretty sure they weren't chasing me.
6. I sing alto.
7. I'm a big fan of Lost. But I still think Alias was J.J.'s masterpiece.
8. I love homeschooling and am thankful every day for the opportunity to do so.
9. I really dig John Denver, even though most of his lyrics make no apparent sense.
10. I still claim Harrison Ford as my favorite actor, but I seriously enjoy Will Smith.
11. I spent three summers in college working at Oak Ridge National Laboratory.
12. I had to wear a dosimeter to keep track of my radiation levels. Thankfully, it was never necessary to check.
13. In high school, I didn't care so much about having close girlfriends until it was almost time to graduate. I am SO blessed to have them now.
14. Having a daughter has made me wish I could go back and do some things differently, but I know that each experience led me to who I am now.
15. I'm so thankful for grace.
16. I love Jesus. He loved me first.
17. Cocoa Puffs is my favorite cereal.
18. I know how to sew, but my machine has been in the attic since I had kids.
19. I'm a huge college football fan.
20. I equally cheer for Tennessee and Alabama, even though some say that makes me not a true fan of either. I seriously love them both.
21. I have no athletic ability.
22. I edit depositions for a living and am blessed with two incredibly talented court reporters to work for.
23. I can't stop myself from proofreading anything I read. It's a sickness. I seriously hope there are no spelling errors in my list.
24. In 8th grade I became obsessed with Gone With the Wind. I read it twice and watched the movie about 20 times.
25. Paula Abdul has hugged two of my children.

I've avoided writing about Inauguration Week for lots of reasons. I hate to sound cynical in the face of a new day. I don't want to appear whiny or show bad sportsmanship. And honestly, I just haven't wanted to think about it too much.

To be honest, it's not even saying "President Obama" that upsets me. I can handle the fact that power has shifted and my guy is no longer in the White House. It happens. In fact, that's something to be proud of. We just witnessed the 44th shift of power from one President to the next. It is remarkable to have a history of smooth transition like that, especially when the philosophies are so different and passions run so high on either side.

I watched most of the Inaugural Day festivities on Tuesday morning. I do love the pomp and circumstance and pageantry of it all. It was certainly moving to see the Bushes and the Obamas together. I felt a bit sorry for President Bush because there wasn't a whole lot of sentiment coming his way other than, "Time for you to go!" I know he's a strong man and didn't need that for his self worth, but it still made me sad for him to have to leave that way.

My problem was not with the events of the day. My problem was with the media love fest. I had to watch most of Tuesday's events with the sound muted because I just couldn't stomach what I was hearing. It was shameless. Yes, it's historic that we've elected the first black President (which probably still bugs President Clinton, since that used to be his honor.) But try to imagine for a moment if he were the first black Republican president. How different might things have been? And to hear the journalists talk, it seems we've elected far more than a man. They are trying to convince us that we've just elected the savior of the world. That, I can't take.

I'm sure it is hard for President Obama not to believe his own press. He knows better than anyone that he is just a man, but when you are hailed as the next messiah, how long before you begin to believe it might be true? Scripture is filled with stories of men who accepted the glory that belongs to God for themselves, and it never worked out well for them. King Nebuchadnezzar spent several years eating grass and living like a wild animal. Herod was infested with worms and eaten from the inside out. Two extreme cases, but they show us that God doesn't like it much when men try to usurp his throne.

I am praying right now that our new President will keep a steady head. Because he is our representative to the world. He is the king on the throne of America right now. And if he gets carried away, I worry about the fate of the rest of us.

Here's where I put my hope, though. God is not limited by human circumstances. He sees things we can not see. He can move in ways unimaginable to us. He can use President Obama to work His purposes. It is vital that we pray to that effect. Let's not lose heart in a land that seems at times to have lost its collective mind.

And when millions of people across this nation realize that their hope is misguided and that the man they believed could solve all of their problems is just a man, let's be ready to offer a reason for the true Hope within us.

Five weeks from today I should be back in India. There aren't the right words to express all of the many emotions this brings.

I can't wait to get back. I feel as if I left a piece of myself there last year and it has been beckoning me home ever since. I can't wait to see faces like these and let those precious fingers take hold of mine. I can't wait to be reunited with friends that I only spent a few days with, but who left permanent marks on my heart.

This time is going to be different. This time Jeff will be with me. I am MOST excited about that. I want him to see what I saw, feel what I felt. I need him to know why I was so messed up when I got home. I just need him to go. And I am excited that a world he's only heard about will suddenly be brought into living color. Names will have faces; stories will have audio. Those who love him because of me will now love him because of him. I can't wait.

We will be conducting eye clinics this time around. Imagine having the opportunity to be Christ's hands and feet when He said He came to bring sight to the blind. We have a chance to change people's lives and then tell them Who sent us. It is going to be amazing. I get chills every time I think about it.

There's much to be done between now and then. But each day brings me closer to something I've been looking forward to all year. No, India isn't necessarily the safest place in the world to be heading. But in reality, anything can happen any time, anywhere. And the calling on my life to go is so strong it can't be ignored. I've never felt the power of prayer as strongly as I experienced last year, and I don't anticipate that being any different. But I depend on you guys to cover me. So if you read this, please say a prayer and keep them coming. Pray the way will be paved smooth. Pray for safe travel for us and our children. Pray for my sister-in-law, Gena, who'll be taking care of the older two. Pray for my in-laws, Gene and Gale, who will be trying to keep up with the Bry man all week.

Most importantly, pray for the hearts of those sweet Indian people who will be visiting our clinics, that they will be open to the One who has brought us.

So What Are You Doing Today?

We've been without a washer/dryer for the past week. Apparently I do more in between my weekly wash day than I realized. This doesn't even count the four loads I did at Mom's. It is ridiculous for five people to produce this much uncleanliness.

In the interest of fairness, I thought I'd post one of the better moments... these are the moments that make it all worthwhile.

Warning: Bad Word Ahead (And don't go skipping to the end to find it...)

Bailey has really been struggling with her spelling words this week. She's had some words with the -ight spelling, and some with the -ite spelling. She has had a terrible time keeping straight in her head which ones are which. So she's spelling d-e-l-i-t-e and w-h-i-g-h-t. It's been extremely frustrating for both of us. Both right and write are on the list, and that has caused just extra headaches.

Friday is spelling test day. I knew going in that it wasn't going to be easy for her. We reviewed up until the last moment before the test. I even gave her the idea to associate write with kite, since she never misses that one. I said, "Think, 'I am going to write about a kite.'" It seemed to help at least a bit.

So we get through the phonics part of the test with ease, and it's now time for the spelling section. I've given her the first three words and she's breezed through them. It's now time for the final three (she's only tested on a random six of the fifteen she studied.) For might, she writes m-h-i-t-e, apparently because white was the word before that, which she wrote correctly. She gets right correct. It's time for the big finish.

The word is sight. She looks up at me with fear in her eyes. She's drawing a complete blank. Slowly she begins to write, s-h-i-t. And she stops.

If it hadn't been so obviously what she was feeling, it might not have been so hard to keep a straight face. But I could not hold back the laughter. Sadly, I have to explain to her why I'm laughing, which has already drawn Bradley in from the other room. He is incapable of playing this cool, which turns her cheeks even redder than they were to begin with.

Not our best homeschooling moment... but definitely one I won't soon forget!

Could there be a more perfect way to spend this cold, rainy afternoon? I'm so jealous.

Happy New Year!